


June

by JDBeckett



Series: 365 Prompts [6]
Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-03-22 09:16:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 41,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3723463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JDBeckett/pseuds/JDBeckett





	1. A Missed Opportunity

He had only walked across it once. The building was somewhat out of his regular route. It had caught his attention however, the 'for sale' sign had been quite visible. He hadn't really stopped to go and look at it, had figured that maybe it still would be up and standing the following day. 

He had been in a hurry that day, is what he told himself as he now looked at the building again. He knew he should have stopped and gone in, stopped and looked around but he had been expected. Though the person expecting him would have understood his being delayed. He really should have stopped. Now as he looked at the building from the side walk, he could only sigh and shake his head. The 'for sale' sign still was there, that was not the issue, it was the 'SOLD' sticker on the sign that depressed him somewhat, he was telling himself that he hadn't been meant to have this one, this time.

  


"It was a beauty, I wish I had stopped by to look at it yesterday when I was driving by but I kept on telling myself that a single day wouldn't make a difference. Maybe it was too late yesterday when I went too, maybe they just hadn't put up the sign. You should have seen it though, it was beautiful, all old stone and Victorian looks, I could have made something wonderful out of that building." He paused, shook his head and looked out their window as he listened to his companion, the man getting dressed after a long shower.

"I know what you're going to say, if I want it so bad, we could just have one built here but I don't really want that. The architecture was the kind you couldn't really just copy or build again, plus, if we were to build this here with the intent of turning it into a business, we'd attract more people to our corner of the world and I like it quiet as it is."

"It is quiet and peaceful, I guess you just weren't meant to have that one building. I'm sure another one will come your way, one on your regular route that you won't miss out because it's actually out of your way. Why were you near that side of the town anyway?"

Eoghan blinked at the question, his lips drifting to the hints of a frown as he shook his head. "I'm not sure, I think it was a detour, there was construction on the usually route I take to check in on the docks so I had to head through another set of streets."

Shaking his head, Alexis curled his arms about Eoghan's shoulders lightly, he looked outside their window as well. He stayed quiet for a moment, thoughtful, before he spoke. His voice was quiet, still thoughtful. "At times we see beauty and want to create so much more with it but now and again we have to be reminded that we can't have everything. I know you miss owning your own business, we'll find some beautifully old building for you soon and you'll he able to transform it into whatever you want."

"I know there's a but in there somewhere."

Laughing softly, Alexis nuzzled Eoghan's temple and closes his eyes. "I'm just thinking, if you get another bar running, you'll be settling back into a mostly night-time routine and everyone will miss you. Not that I don't want you to ruin your own business, but I'm just saying. Maybe you should see about other businesses?"

Canting his head back just slightly though he knew he couldn't really look into his lover's eyes, Eoghan leaned back against the taller man, taking in the words and letting his mind work them around. "What do you suggest?"

"You're a wonderful cook. You could open a small little restaurant. Maybe just do breakfast and lunch."

With a blink, Eoghan moved away from the arms to his shoulders and he turned around. "I'm not that great a cook and I don't know that I could manage a restaurant."

"Eoghan, you've managed bars, you've managed apartment buildings and you've had a lot more time than most to learn the ways of life. I'm just saying. With a bar you chance bar fights, you know how those go and how much they cost you when people start destroying property. With a small little restaurant you could have just a few comfortable seatings, serve breakfasts and lunches from particular areas around the world, you could do this the way we do it now with our weekly suppers, you could change it weekly or so with new things out every time. We all know that breakfast here and breakfast in, say, Japan, are two very different things."

Shrugging again, Eoghan turned back towards the window, he looked out to the quiet day ahead of them and sighed. "I suppose I could, there's a lot of people out there who can be contacted for information on meals from around the world. I just don't know. Restaurants are very different from bars."

"It isn't as if you have to do it now, you know we're having this discussion because you're bummed you missed out on that building, that's all. We're just brainstorming." He stepped up once more, curled his arms to those shoulders again and chuckled gently when they sagged into his hold and Eoghan leaned a little more against him.

"We have all the time in the world, you can just think about the fact that there could be a restaurant with your name on it somewhere out there. We both know a lot of wonderful people and those people know folks too. It's just one of those things to give your mind some food to chew on while you stop thinking about the missed opportunity. A times there just are some things that we're not meant to have."

"I guess you're right."

  


As it did turn out, barely just a week later, there was a fire in the building he had nearly bought but had barely missed out by just a day or so. Not so much an accidental fire as a premeditated one. The news spoke of how the fire had nothing to do with the current owner, that it was most likely a grudge against the old owner who had finally sold the building.

Settled together on the couch, just watching the news for half a moment since they did need to keep up to date with the going ons of the world, they both quirked a brow at the sight of the building as it was shown burning down. Eoghan shook his head, a startled laugh escaping him.

"I suppose I really wasn't meant to have that building and I guess I'll have to be thankful, I'm the one who could have lost everything I'd put into it at that point and while it wouldn't affect my finances much, I'd be pretty pissed off."

"See, most things happen for a reason. It might have been an opportunity you missed but I see it more as a fact of life, you weren't meant to have that building and it's for the better. Imagine, they're saying the new owner was in the building when the flames started eating away at it. I don't think I could survive without you in my life and I don't know that I could keep this building and stay here without you with me."

His head shaken, Eoghan turned and simply nestled closer to his lover. The words were sweet and he supposed he could stop thinking about how he could have gotten his hands on that building if only he had seen it earlier. It hadn't been meant for him. Though maybe if he had met up with the older owner, a little mind prodding could have told him that it was a bad buy.

He closed his eyes and sighed, it was all in the past now. He'd let it go. 


	2. A Challenge

"So they just have to write that many words in that month alone? Then what do they do?"

"Well, it's not just about writing words, essentially they have to write a novel and fifty-thousand words is just how many words it should have at least. They call it National Novel Writing Month. It pushes people to write more, those who might laze and not finish projects they start have no real excuse to not do things from start to finish in that month, it's the point of it. Once they're done, they revise, to clean it up and some get published after a lot of hard work."

"But what's the point and does it have to be written in French?" The questions keep on coming, it amuses him more than anything else. He knows they should have been working but the library is very quiet on that calm and fresh afternoon. Most people who would come, tended to on humid afternoons, mostly seeking the calmer, fresher, air conditioned quietness of their walls.

"People just write because they can, because some of them want to be published, it's really just that. They want to write. Some believe they want to write but they just want to be writers, they want all the hard work already to be done and just want the money they think comes with writing." He shrugged, a soft chuckle at the back of his throat. He didn't even know where the teen had heard about the whole thing, he only knew because Andoni had taken part in it twice during the time they had been together.

"And no, it doesn't have to be in French, it can be in any language you're comfortable writing in." He still isn't sure if the twins can even write proper sentences in French yet. Sure their speech is better, a lot smoother than it had been when he first met them but there is a huge difference between speaking the language and writing it.

"It's just a challenge for people who want to write."

"Oh."

"Don't you have books you should be putting away?" His voice is gently amused and Mira pouts at him lightly, as if he'd just been told that chores were waiting. It was essentially that. Still the young man rolls his eyes but turns though not before sticking his tongue out. Armin chuckles again softly and shakes his head. He knows they still are teenagers and they react properly most of the time. He knows it's a good sign, that they're growing up essentially as they should be, just out of school.

He recalls having watched Andoni over the course of the month, those two times he had settled in for the writing challenge. He had kept his distance and made sure not to bother his boyfriend at that point. He knew concentration was fleeting at times and he hadn't wanted to bother him. Once his word goal for the day had been reached and then some, Armin did get plenty of Andoni-time and that was the best of times for him. He never once had felt neglected.

  


"I think I'll do it." 

Armin blinks, he stops scanning the new books that had come in and turns to his young worker with a quirked brow. "Do what?"

"The writing thing."

The writing thing. That's one way to talk about it. Armin chuckles softly and shakes his head. "You do know that it is in several months from now, yes? It's one particular month a year, November actually, and it runs from the first day of that month to the last?"

"Oh, I thought I could just pick a month I wanted and write."

"Not quite how it works but if that's how you'd want to do it you could. I just don't think it really would count for NaNoWriMo, that's all."

"Well that sucks."

"You're adorable." Snickering as Mira blushes at the compliment, Armin turns back to the box of books he had been scanning and stamping. "No one is stopping you from writing whenever you want, Mira. That particular challenge just takes place in November. Some people prefer to just write year round, they set themselves up with a word goal and they write a little whenever they can, if they reach their goal then all good, if not, it's not much of a loss but it's not all that fun either for them."

He shrugs and pulls a few more books out of the box. Just a few at a time, these encyclopedias were heavier than he recalled them being, it would take some time to get them all up where they belonged.

"Do you write?"

Maybe he wouldn't get to finish his scanning today at this point, not that he minded. He hadn't expected that delivery for another week so he had some time ahead of himself.

"I don't, I'm more a reader than a writer. Andoni used to write though. I still have most of his manuscripts though they're in a sealed box in my apartment."

"Who's Andoni?" With a slight wince at the question, Armin shakes his head lightly and Mira frowns. "Didn't mean to hurt you, Armin I'm sorry."

"No, that's okay, I brought him up first. Andoni was my boyfriend, we spent several years together but he was in an accident and he was taken away from me."

"Is that why you walk with the crutch?"

The question startles him but he actually laughs, he shakes his head and reaches out to gently ruffle the teen's hair. "I thought you'd been told about that. No, I was born this way."

"I'm sorry."

"No need to be, curiosity is absolutely natural and I don't mind. I'm just glad you and your brother don't look at me as if I was diseased or something."

"We were told not to ask you about this because they didn't know if you were comfortable talking about it or not. I think it's just a little sad because at times it's like it hurts you but you're just like us in the end. You're a little different but that makes you unique."

The words warm something in him and he smiles softly. Again he reaches out and lightly muss the teen's hair with a chuckle. "You're absolutely sweet, Mira. Thank you. Now you go and finish putting those books away, all right?"

"But I'm done!"

"Oh?"

"Well, mostly, Agni was done so we split up my half of the workload and I'm done with mine and there's Agni now just coming down from the second floor."

Canting his head, Armin does watch as the older of the two boys, though barely by a few minutes he's certain, comes their way and settles next to his brother. 

"Since the two of you are done then, you can help me with these encyclopedias, they need to have the little regular barcode applied at the bottom of the spine, the stickers are right here and once they're on I'll scan them. If we get done with that box before it's time for closing, we can put them away and we'll have an even lighter workload tomorrow. We could even more than likely go for ice-cream once we're done, sounds good?"

The boys both nod and start pulling the books out of the box to set up the sticker. Team work does make things easier to handle. A small part of him wishes he had met these two sooner, it feels good to not be working all on his own in the library anymore.


	3. Phone Rings

"Turn it off." He reaches out blindly, his face in his pillow as he tries to sleep in for just once in his life and he pats out, trying to find his alarm as it rings and rings, he can't find it.

He lifts his head from his pillow, staring at the bedside table next to him and notices the lack of an alarm clock. He reminds himself briefly that the clock is on the other bedside table. He looks over that way, past the empty spot next to him and the alarm isn't on. He frowns and turns his head back to his own side of the bed again, the ringing is still going.

His tired gaze tries to see just where the ringing is coming from but the room is still mostly dark, he can't make out what it might be. It is beginning to annoy him to no end, however. He pats out blindly and his fingers curl on the slim shape of his phone. He groans, brings the phone closer to be able to look at it, stares as he tries to see who the caller might be and cancels the call before literally turning the phone off. He drops it back to the table and rolls over again.

Usually he would have answered that phone, he would have been pleasant enough despite having been woken up from what was more than peaceful slumber. However, at the very least just this once in his life, he refuses to acknowledge that there is life out there beyond the darkness of his bedroom.

His night was a very short one and before his night came, he worked, he worked without a break to finish up a commission that had been requested of him. This of course is not unusual but when the person who requests the commission calls in the middle of the afternoon to state that the piece is required by eight that night when it had been due at some point in the following week tends to cause some havoc in usually perfectly calm days.

All he wants at this point is sleep.

  


"Alexis?" The soft, uncertain voice rouses him from the depth of sleep where he had drifted off again. He grumbled, muttered really though it is a sound nearly unheard it is so soft. He rolls over to turn toward the sliver of light that comes into the room from the partly opened door.

"I'm awake, ish, sort of." Very sort of. He rubs his eyes as he tries to will himself a little more awake, a little more aware and his mind tries hard to rebel, it wants more sleep and it seems as if he might just not get it.

"I'm sorry, it's just there's this woman on the phone and she's pretty much ranting obscenities. Something about how the piece she asked for isn't what she wanted, that you ruined her party and whatever. I tried to calm her down but she's not really trying. I don't think she even knows what calming down means."

Sighing, Alexis pinches the bridge of his nose and finally pulls himself up into a sitting position. "I don't know how she got the home phone, I never give it to anyone and we're not listed."

"That's not really a problem, I'm just, you know, I'm trying to find out why she's this pissed, no one's ever complained about your work before, what's her problem?"

Looking towards the window in silence for a moment, Alexis reaches for his phone and turns it back on. Several missed calls and missed texts. He snorts and sighs. "Remember this big adult piece I had been commissioned to do two weeks ago? She told me it was due for the end of next week."

"I do recall that. It was amusing you to work on that piece, it was really detailed but you had a lot of time to finish it up. Why is she calling now?"

"Yesterday, she said that she needed the piece by eight last night. I wasn't even half done. We both know chocolate isn't like art. I can't do it three weeks early and just keep it in the fridge. It's possible to do it that way but it's poor work ethics. So I focused, I did my best, I followed her instructions and the lady I gave it to at fifteen to eight last night looked it over and said she was very happy about it and that her friend, the woman who ordered the piece, would be too."

He pauses and finally eases to his feet with a soft grunt. He pulls the curtains apart just lightly to let the light flood into the room.

"The lady even apologized for the quick change of date, something about how the wedding was moved up ahead because the woman's soon to be had to be shipped off or something so it was either do it more quickly or wait several months longer. So they did this with everyone they had ordered things from, I guess. I assume the piece was for their before-wedding party or something, I can't imagine the guy would have wanted a huge chocolate champagne cream filled dick as a cake of sorts, along with all the mini ones she wanted."

"So the bride to be is just being a little bitch about everything, want to bet she called everywhere to complain about everything? I feel sorry for the guy she's marrying, I hope he knows what he's getting into." Eoghan shakes his head but stays in the door's frame though he opens it a little wider. Now the whole room is softly, warmly lit.

"How about you go on and take a bath? You look like you could use more relaxation. To be honest you look like death warmed over. I'm going to try to see how she got our number and I might just be trying to get that memory out of her brain. I don't want her calling here again if I can help it."

"Don't strain, she's not worth it. If it comes down to it we'll just call the phone company and ask them to block this particular number, they ought to at least be able to do that."

"Still, now that I know the reason for her call, I can see about having a little fun about it." The grin on his lips spoke plenty. She was bothering his lover about petty things. She had gotten her chocolate request and Eoghan knew that Alexis never skimped on details. He went out of his way to make sure the piece was just as it should have been.

"Well have fun with that, I'll try not to fall asleep in the tub. You're right, a bath might just do me a world of good." Finally walking around the bed and towards the door, he pauses by Eoghan and steals a brief kiss. He feels better already, knowing that things might not be just as bad as he had imagined them.

He walks back into the room and towards the door leading to their bathroom. He knows he could have gone right on there but it seemed important to offer some affection to the man who made his life more than worth living, after all.

In the bathroom, he closes the door and runs the water. Just hot enough to be steamy but not hot enough to burn, he knows his limit well enough. He puts in a few drops of his favourite oils and once there is just enough water, he turns the flow off and slips into the heated comfort of the tub with a soft, content sigh.

He knows he won't hear any phones ringing from the bathroom. He's more than glad for that. He knows he could go at least a couple of weeks without hearing the phone ring and it would be heavenly. Though that much is not quite a possibility. He'll settle for having some more peace for a few more hours. It was better than no time at all.


	4. Twelve Babies

I don't know why we started looking hoaxes up today. Alexis and Eoghan each gave us a laptop, that way we can study online. They found us this kind of online school and we can study and go through the exams and we might even get diplomas. I think the all around idea is pretty neat. Agni doesn't quite feel the same way but he's always been a little 'meh' when it came to studying new things. It depends on the subjects I guess. I just love learning and if I can prove that I know enough about things that I can get myself a diploma, as if I'd gone to school, I'm all for it.

Zora said she would pay them back for the laptops but they insisted that they were gifts, that they were just looking out for us and making sure we kept up to date with the world in general. They're really nice. I like spending time with everyone in our little extended family.

"Listen to this! This woman claimed that she was going to have twelve babies, twelve!" I turn my attention to Agni, away from this neat photo of a purple forest I found though I'd already found the information that marked this as fake. I have to put my laptop down and pretty much just turn around to be able to look at his screen, we were sitting back to back. So I set the laptop down and I shift my weight until I can look over his shoulder.

"That is a lot of kids. I mean I read about the woman who had eight and even that was dangerous in itself but twelve? You find anything else about it?" I settle my chin on his shoulder and he chuckles softly before clicking further down the page.

"Yeah, they found something out about how she was probably not right in the head and it was unlikely she was even pregnant. She claimed she was nine months pregnant and nothing showed for it so they called it a hoax." I straighten slightly and I shake my head. It's sad the kind of thing people do for attention. Though I guess that if she's not all that right in the head, it's not entirely her fault. It just feels sad.

"I read in another place about this woman who created a little girl and this little girl was abused and bullied and then somehow she got ALS when she was really young and-"

"What's ALS?"

I roll my eyes but chuckle softly, I guess I can't blame him, I only know about amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, ALS, because I looked it up after I'd found information on that case. "ALS is essentially a disease that slowly makes you unable to pretty much do anything on your own, over time. Your muscles will weakness, they'll become atrophied, you'll have issues with talking and swallowing and breathing too."

"Wow, do not want."

"But yeah, this woman, she acted like this little girl was real, people were paying to buy her medical equipment and gifts and her pills and the rest, there even was a book written and then so much crap. It's sad when you think about how far people will go to get money out of believers."

"Hoaxes, there are so many of them in this world, it's sad."

The more we dig for information, the more we realize that the world is filled with hoaxes. Some are small and didn't really manage to get off the ground, others though, others took off and a lot of the population turned to panic since they didn't really know anything else or didn't understand how they were supposed to react.

  


I don't really know how long we spent looking around for more information on women who claimed to have been pregnant with too many babies, on animals who had given birth to malformed things, on photos that looked too real to be true. I know Agni stopped looking before me. 

Before too long I heard the telltale sounds of the one game we have installed on these laptops and I let him be. This was, after all, a day off from the work we did with Armin. I just squirm a bit against his back to remind him I'm there, that I'm not just some backboard for him to lean against and he laughs softly.

I'm too busy looking through photos that look too real to be true to really pay him much attention. I know most of these have their sources and they've been proved to be real but it's hard to believe they are. It almost makes me want to take up photography. Little bugs that look so big, the details are beautiful.

The way a flower looks when you really try to look into it and not just at it, the way the spiders's eyes are set on its head, the way the legs move. There's not a lot I'm afraid of, I think I wouldn't have issues getting up close and personal with bugs to take these kind of photos but I don't know how well I'd manage though I suppose it's not all that important at this point.

Agni swears behind me and I elbow him gently in the ribs to remind him that we're not supposed to. I don't care if he crashed in the game, we've been raised well enough to at the very least not swear pointlessly. He huffs at me but goes back to his game without much of another thought my way.

I go back to the photos.

  


"Agni, Mira, I'm home!"

I think I'd honestly forgotten that she was going to be spending her day out today. It's her one of two days off a week today too and she usually stays inside with us. At least, since the accident. I rub my arm gently in memory and I shake my head as I put down my book. Hours ago, Agni took his computer back to his room and his desk to keep on playing and I took one of my books to read.

We haven't gone out to the hill since I broke my arm and she looks guilty every time I mention going outside. She looks uncertain and a little scared and I have to remind her that the yard out back is one large flat bit of land, that I won't run and that I'll be careful of where I put my feet so I don't trip. She still doesn't look convinced but I still go outside, it's not like I want to spend the rest of my life locked inside.

I discovered a little river about an hour's walk into the woods. There's a small pathway so I know I have good chances of finding my way back without any help. I've marked the way as it is too. It's nice, that little river. The currents aren't too strong and the water is cool, it's going to be refreshing in the heat of July and August when we get there. Though I know we now also have the pool on the roof but the solarium set over it makes it so that it's pretty humid in there, it's sticky heat and it makes it hard to get out of the pool without feeling the weight of the temperature sink in.

I might tell Agni about the river one of these days. It's nice really. I know he doesn't like swimming quite as much as I do but that's aside the point, he might still like to spend time out there is all I'm thinking. It's so peaceful. If the pathway was any clearer I might be tempted to tell Armin about it.

Maybe I can clear it up and maybe he can come about. That'd be really neat.


	5. Curious Animal

"Quentin?" The voice startles me of my slight doze. We were settled in the garden, the indoor one though I know rather well we could be outside but inside was best for today for some reason, I'm not sure which. Yael's gaze is outside and I try to follow it to pinpoint the source of his sudden curiosity.

"What is it?" I still can't really see what he's looking at. The yard is bright through the sunlight piercing the clouds. I see nothing amiss. I see beautiful trees, I see shade, I see nothing wrong.

"What is that?"

"What's what?" I still can't see whatever it is he's asking about. He rolls his eyes and settles both his hands on my cheeks and turns my head just so. He releases me and points towards something. I blink and let my eyes focus. What a strange looking thing. I've never seen them before. What I can see of its next and chest are a deep sort of blue, slowly seeming to bleed into green. I guess what I mistook for a train are feathers, they're longer than the bird on its own seem to be. 

"I honestly have no idea."

"Eoghan might know."

"Yael, I'm not going to call Eoghan just to know more about a bird as it wanders through our yard, here, let me get up and get our books on birds." He grumbles gently but he moves to let me get up. I slip from our seat and stretch before walking towards the door leading to the first floor and he follows closely. "Coming with me?"

"Well I want to see it from another angle, it's so different from anything I've ever seen before." His voice is thoughtful and I think I can sense a note of wonder. If this bird can bring back his inspiration I'm not going to complain. I miss seeing the happiness in his eyes when he draws. 

"Just don't go outside until we're sure of what it is, all right?"

He nods and we part ways once down the stairs. I head towards his shelves to locate that one book we have of birds from all over the world. When we bought this bought, I think we figured that it would be easier to locate a bird in a world encyclopedia over one that surrounded just France or Europe.

I flip through the pages, minding where I steps while I head towards our guest room. It has the best view of the yard without us needing to head outside and I figure it's where he'll be waiting for me. I mind my steps as I have several kittens rumble and try to snag at my ankles as I walk past. We've taken the gate out of their room door since they were beginning to climb over it anyway. They're growing up to be adorable little fluffballs, we still need to figure out names. I feel bad we haven't yet.

Though I've been giving it a lot of thoughts and we do have a list of names we really like and we've been shortening it a little every day. My top names currently are Caelan and Coby. At first I thought we might try for all the same first letters but the names we've found weren't very fitting. We're still working at it.

"So what is it?"

I nearly run into the door frame as his words startle me briefly out of my search. I shake my head and shrug as I settle next to him and begin digging through the book again. "I'm sure I'll find it. I was thinking about the names we have on that list for the kittens. We're nearly down to five, aren't we?" 

He smiles and nods. I settle on a particular page in the book and then I look back out the window. "Found our visitor. We have ourselves a peacock."

"A peacock." He looks at me, disbelieving. I don't know if it's the bird's name or just that we have one barely a few yards away from us. I show him the book and he looks it over a moment. I see something change in his eyes and I can feel hope begin to blossom somewhat in my chest.

"Those are beautiful, look at those feathers." He breathes the words, almost as if he's afraid that speaking too loudly will frighten the bird. All the windows are closed and the AC is running, I don't imagine we'll frighten our unexpected guest in any way. Still, what a strange bird. I mean I've never seen that kind of bird before, I'm not even sure if it should be here at all though the book states they're normally easily enough found here in France. You learn something new every day.

  


"So you think we're finally ready to name them?" He looks at me as we settle down in the cat's room with their food, settling down bowls left and right, making sure Areli and Lavi eat their own food and not the kitten's own. Soon they'll all be eating the same thing though not quite yet.

"Well, we've gone long enough without naming them and I feel bad for not having names for them. I only have two names I really like for them and I know you have a few more, I figure we can throw it all into one big pot." He nods and I reach out, barely daring to touch the head of the kitten eating at my feet. "And to me, honestly, they all look just a little different from one another so I know I can tell them apart."

He reaches out, brushes Areli's head with a chuckle. "Never thought we'd be parents, even of this kind of kid, did you?"

"Nope, never crossed my mind. So I vote for Caelan for this one and Coby for his brother." I motion to the two cats in question, the two closest to me. He nods and looks them over. From his pocket he pulls out the well worn piece of paper on which we'd written those names down. I laugh softly as I realize he's been constantly carrying it around.

"Okay, so let's see." He looks the list over slowly, moves his fingers along the lines and shakes his head at this one or that one. Then he points out to the kitten farthest from us. "You'll be Astra. There's a little star on your left hip."

I smile but stay quiet. I left him the three kittens with the clearer star-shaped marks to name because I know most of his names are star-centred, he's been on a star-gazing kick. He motions to the one next to Astra. "You'll be Izar and last but not least, you'll be Maris."

He smiles, I smile and I chuckle. We finally have names for these little balls of energy. I think it's a good step forward. I can stop feeling guilty for looking at them and going, in my mind, 'this is kitten one, this is two and this is three'. I felt bad for that, really.

"Areli, Astra, Caelen, Coby, Izar, Lavi, and Maris. We have ourselves quite the family. To be honest, when I first came to live in Dunkerque, I thought I would be spending the rest of my life alone, just living a quiet little life with nothing ever happening to me. First I met back up with Eoghan though our friendship remained somewhat distant and then I found you, my muse, my everything. Now we have these seven hungry little bundles to help us along with our happiness. It feels so good."

He smiles at me, it's an absolutely dazzling sort of smile and hope swells in my chest again. I think the peacock really might have sparked his desire to try his hand at art once more. I don't know which type of art he'll try but I get the feeling he'll try. I want him to be happy. I want him to feel fulfilled and he's only ever really felt fulfilled, from what I've gathered from him, when he was drawing or creating with clay. I'll do anything for him to reach that place again.

Anything.


	6. Blogging

"It's hard to believe that some people make a living this way."

"Make a living what way?"

"By blogging."

"What's blogging?"

"Posting stuff online on a site, usually as per a particular theme, like cooking recipes or knitting or photography."

"I don't really know how anyone might make a living out of blogging, I've always thought that most who blogged daily or just about were mostly stay at home parents with a partner to help with the income. I mean I get it, I'm sure that if you get a lot of visitors, your ads get plenty of view. If you're a cooking blog you might have published a recipe book but I still don't see how it might be enough to keep a family afloat."

"What if they're single?"

"I suppose it could be one option but still I don't really think it's possible for someone to live on blogging alone."

"I'll blog!"

"You don't even have the patience to start a book and finish it to the very end, you're constantly skipping paragraphs and pages, how do you expect you'll be able to blog? We can't even write that well in French yet anyway."

"He has a point."

"Well I'll write in my mother language!"

"It's one option but you still can barely finish through your current books without getting bored, how do you expect to keep up with the idea of blogging?"

"I'll find something."

"Someone is getting huffy."

"Am not!"

"Let's not fight. I mean, honestly, Agni, you open up a magazine and you don't even read through the science pages and I know you love those. What would you write about?"

"I don't really know. It was just an idea, get off my back."

"All right, all right, subject change."

"To what?"

"I don't know but can we talk about something that doesn't involve blogging for now? I think we'd go around in circles if we were to keep up on that anyway."

"Are we there yet?"

"Let's not get started on that, please. We've been over this. Asking if we're there yet a dozen time while I'm driving is more likely to have me turn around than get us to our destination."

"Sorry Eoghan."

"Sorry."

"No, that's okay. We still have about an hour to go but the sun is up, the sky is clear and the day is nice and warm, we can all appreciate looking outside the windows at the views granted to us by nature as we head to the garden."

"I'm stuck in the middle."

"Well we did ask to know who didn't mind being in the middle and you didn't say anything about it, so there you are."

"I wasn't there when you asked!"

"Actually, you were, you even shrugged and said you didn't care, so now hush. You can look outside anyway, it's not like your seat mates are blocking your view."

"This is going to be a long ride."

"Please don't start this. We've already gone a good way and no one has complained yet. Today is supposed to be a fun outing with everyone-"

"I wish Armin could be here!"

"Armin declined the invitation by saying that while he would love to walk through the beauties of the park he hadn't seen since he had last gone there, he didn't want to slow us down."

"Pretty sure you didn't do much to try to convince him to come."

"Mira please."

"Okay, okay, I'm just saying. I would have stayed back with him."

"You really like him, don't you?"

"Well he's nice to me, he teaches me new things. I wish people would stop looking at him like he's got a disease and he's contagious. When they don't look at him like that they look at him as if they pitied him, it makes me mad."

"He's a strong man. He's lived through a lot of hardship and now he's living with us. We do our best to make his life easier to handle with less road bumps."

"Thank you."

"We'll have a picnic next weekend if the weather allows and it'll be in the yard, everyone will be there then, how does that sound?"

"Cool!"

"Oh hey, we saw a peacock in our yard this week."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we had to get out book on birds because we honestly didn't know what it was. We were looking at it, wondering what it was. I swear I saw Yael's eyes brighten up with interest when first spotted it. We now have several sketches, drawings, paintings and even one small, very detailed claw figuring of a peacock in his studio."

"You're doing art again, yay!"

"I guess I was in a slump, I just couldn't find inspiration. I don't know how long it's going to last of if I'll be able to draw anything other than peacocks but it's a start."

"Well, if you think about it, I believe that our time in the garden might inspire you."

"I have a garden at home, Eoghan."

"True, but this garden is different, it has topiaries and rose bushes and tropical flowers and just, it's not like your garden at home and who knows if it might not inspire you, I think it might."

"I can only hope it may. I honestly really hope it does. I miss drawing and painting."

"Oh, as a side note, we finally decided on the names we wanted for our kittens."

"It was about time, you've had them for a while now."

"We know but we just couldn't decide on particular names."

"So what did you name them?"

"Well we have Coby and Caelen-"

"Astra, Izar and Maris. They all seem to take well to their names, when we call them they already seem to respond a little so we think we've made good choices."

"Those are good names. You two would make good parents."

"We are good parents!"

"To cats."

"It's a start?"

"I don't know if I could manage with kids, no offence Agni, Mira. I still feel like such a kid myself."

"You're right, you're completely immature."

"I'm not going to take that bait, Eoghan. You still act like a kid on good days."

"Take that-"

"He's actually right, love."

"Oh hush, you're not supposed to take their sides."

  


~~*

"We're almost there."

"And no one asked to know if we were there yet since that first time, I'm proud of you guys."

"Well we stayed quiet like you told us and we looked outside the windows. I guess the view really was nice. I've never been to this city, not that I can recall, have we been here?"

"This particular city, no, I've never taken you here, I didn't want to get into the bigger cities, just in case. I didn't want to chance the hunters who had found us back home in India finding us here. I didn't stray very far from Dunkerque to be honest, it was the safest place I could find. We weren't far from the water and I could talk my way into getting us onto a container ship if I needed to though I never did find a need."

"I'm glad you're with us to this day, Zora. Meeting the three of you has been a big blessing."

"We're here."

"Oh wow, look at those gates!"

"Look at the flowers!"

"The peacocks!"

"All right everyone, quick note. We can each go out separate way but we should set up a meeting point at a certain hour so that we all meet back up here. This garden is pretty big and I don't really want to go home without everyone back here, after all."

"We can meet back up here at noon?"

"Sounds good, there are clocks everywhere around the park."

"Everyone who wanted cameras has their own?"

"Yup!"

"All right, let's head in and go marvel at the beauty of nature."


	7. In a Garden

There are little 'ohs' and 'ahs' from everyone in the van as it parks in the parking lot. As they all slowly come out of the vehicle and stretch after the semi-long journey, there are soft groans and grumbles about how it had been a long ride. Eoghan merely chuckles as he looks at their little group, their little almost family and he leads them towards the entrance so he can see about paying their fees before letting them all loose into the beautiful garden.

"You two don't wander too far, please."

"Zora, we're not kids, we'll stick together but if we don't wander far we'll never manage to explore the garden!"

"Don't worry, Zora. The whole place is fenced in, they could go the edge of it and still come back in one piece. There are maps everywhere, here are paper maps for everyone and disposable cameras for those who might want one."

"You really thought out every single detail, haven't you?"

"Eh, only half of the details, Alexis figured out the rest." He shrugs but smiles as he hands out small cameras and maps. The twins take off to one side and their sister rolls her eyes before taking the main pathway. She knows that it's not because she'll essentially be on her own that she can't enjoy herself.

"Yael, Quentin, you two ready to discover more inspirational views?" He chuckles softly as he hands each of them the last two cameras and a map to be shared between them.

"Thank you for inviting us, Eoghan."

"You're part of the family, guys. It's natural to invite you to join us on this outing."

  


"I've seen these plants before." Yael's words are awed as he tries his best to frame the flowers so he can take a single photo. He knows Quentin will let him have the second camera, he already has gone through a good number of shots on the one he has in his hands.

"Maybe we should invest on getting you a camera, what do you think?"

Yael stops and cants his head, looking away from the flower to his lover and he can't help himself, he lifts the camera and snaps a photo with a soft, delighted laugh. "I suppose we could, I could get into that. It's a different sort of art. We could print out some of the photos and I could reproduce them on canvas."

Quentin feels that warmth spreading in his chest again. So long as Yael is thinking about turning things to art, the world is turning right. He only wants Yael's happiness and the cost is hardly an issue as far as he's concerned.

"When we get back home, we'll look around to find out which camera might be best and what accessories you could need and we'll get you what you want. Then you can explore the world of photography without having to really worry about running out of room on your film roll." He laughs softly as they turn into another pathway, moving away from exotic flowers and heading towards the topiaries.

Those baffle him somewhat, he's never really seen those up close though he'd seen them before from afar. They're so strange though their details are absolutely amazing.

"Imagine, with a digital camera you could take just one photo of most of the ones on this side and you could zoom in and just keep one in your shot."

Yael nods as he studies the topiary in front of him. He's not sure what it is supposed to look like, maybe a peacock? The thought amuses him and he shakes his head with a soft chuckle. "I read in the bird book that it's possible for a peacock to actually be white, like albino people. Then again I've read it's essentially possible for anything in the animal kingdom to be albino though it's not all that common, I wonder if there's one here?"

  


By the time lunch comes around, they've all come back to the gates. The twins are chattering excitedly together about what they've found here and there, Yael looks peaceful and content. They find a large picnic table and out comes the packed lunches, everyone with a little something extra.

"Chef Eoghan strikes again and goes out of his way to please everyone." Alexis's voice is amused as he teases his lover. He smiles warmly at the man as colour settles lightly on his cheeks. Eoghan shrugs softly as if to dismiss the thought.

"Just being myself, I like to make sure everyone has something they like in their food. I know Agni likes his food a little spicier and Mira doesn't, Zora prefers lighter foods and so on. I'm just making sure everyone has a good and filling meal. This place is huge, we just need to have all the energy we need to appreciate it."

"All right everyone, here's to the afternoon. This place actually closes after that, usually at ten. They have some light show but I've seen them and they need some work. The drive home is somewhat long and I don't really think we should be heading home that late. That and we do have to eat supper at some point and we have nothing packed for that though we could stop somewhere in the city. What I figure is that we can meet back up at the van at six. Make sure to not forget anything you've brought in, okay?"

There are nods all around as food is eaten contentedly.

  


When six rolls around, Zora is already at the car. She looks peaceful as she gazes about quietly, as if memorizing what there is around the parking lot. Eoghan and Alexis come out to the van a few bare minutes later. Quentin and Yael are not much longer to join them. The twins however seem to take their time, it is nearly half past six when they come to the van, looking sheepish as can be.

Zora reminds them that they were late and everyone piles into the van, murmuring with quiet contentment about how it turned out to be a good day and a wonderful idea to come to the garden in this city so they could enjoy the sights.

As Eoghan starts in on the drive out of the lot and to a restaurant where they might find something to eat, the twins settle and yawn. It seems as though everyone has had a good day and sleep will be easy to find, a good thing.

They stop at a sandwich shop. Eoghan and Alexis take note of what everyone might want and what they want in their sandwiches before heading in and placing the rather larger order. Once back in the van, Eoghan takes them to a little side of the road, out of the way and the meals are handed out and eaten in relative quiet.

It is not long on the drive back, afterwards, that the twins drift off, resting one against the other. The sight is rather adorable to those who witness it. They are woken up when the van is finally parked home and they almost zombie-walk their way to their apartment and beds. The day has been long and filled with little moments of joys, definitely a day to repeat.

Outings as a family is something that seems to be appreciated by everyone, after all. Definitely an outing to repeat though probably in another area. Best not to get too repetitive, after all.

They bid goodnight to Quentin and Yael as the pair head over to their own home for the night. They have kittens to feed, a litterbox to clean and a good shower to share before tumbling into bed.

"Today was absolutely wonderful, thank you for coming with me."

"As if I'd go anywhere without you, Yael. It's been a while I've seen you look so bright eyed, it was wonderful."

"I'm sorry-"

"No, I didn't say that to make you feel bad about not being happy. I just say that because that's what it is. I just want you to be happy and I'd do anything for your happiness, no matter the cost. I know you miss drawing, I see it in the way you are every day, so to have a chance at starting your desire to draw all over again is a chance I'd take any single day. I love you, I just want you happy."

"Being with you makes me happy. Thank you for everything."


	8. Gratitude

The apartment is quiet, the lights are off in most of the rooms except on where, upon entering, we see the soft glow of a dim light on the bedside table and the equally soft glow of the computer screen. That glow however is partly blocked by the young man sitting in front of that very computer. He has no music playing, no games, no videos. All that can be heard from his room is the gentle but almost rhythmic click of his fingers on the keyboard as he types away.

For a moment, he stops typing, looking at his screen and he cants his head at it, as if it would make more sense, as if he would see clearer into what he's writing. He then turns his head towards the paper and fountain pen sitting just inches away from him to his left and he has to resist the temptation. He badly wants to write this letter by hand but knows that it may be misread if he does.

This computer, this laptop sitting in his small office is brand new. He cares little for the likes of this technology but he knows it is the best of ways he has to keep in touch with one of the only souls who has never looked at him as if he had been terribly disfigured at birth. At least, someone else beyond the man he had loved and had lost.

"Dear such and such, I am so grateful that you've sent me this book, blah blah.." He skims over what he's written already, trying to see how much sense it makes. It has been years since he has last seen the woman who has somehow managed to track him down to send him the book now sitting on his bedside table. A book he will cherish and read several times over, he knows.

A book he had discussed with the woman for hours on end, going on about how he had loved it as a child but how his copy had been stolen from him.

He shakes his head and sighs, looking the email over again. He knows the note written with the email within is a note that was dictated to whoever wrote it. The old friend he is now writing to was born legally blind. It didn't stop her from reaching out for her dreams and making them realities. He has several of her books in his collections.

Armin knows that by writing this email instead of writing by hand as he does wish he could do, she will hear the words themselves spoken by the program in her computer. That is what he assumes at least. He's read about how those with poor or no vision could get certain applications in their computers and it essentially read for them what was on their screen.

By writing a letter, by hand, he has no proof that the letter will reach its destination nor that it will be read as it should be. It is the one though that keeps him from using his fountain pen. He misses writing by hand, knows he should be doing it more often.

__

'Dear Maude,

You cannot begin to imagine how much of a surprise it was to come home from work to find this package waiting for me. This book, my oldest favourite, my only true favourite. I'm not quite sure how you've managed to find me here in this city but I am more than a little glad you did. You always were quite resourceful. 

I never meant to stop visiting you and spending time with you. When I met Andoni, whom you've also met a few times, my life took a turn I had never expected and I was swept off my feet almost literally. When I lost him, things just went downhill and I think I pulled away from everyone and for that I am terribly apologetic.

I cannot express how grateful, how happy, I honestly have no words to express how seeing this book makes me feel. I cannot thank you enough.

If you are willing enough to let me know if you still live where you last did or if you've moved and where to, I would be happy to see about making time to see you over an upcoming weekend if that is all right with you.

I have missed you dearly, old friend and I am looking forward to a chance at spending time with you again.

Yours, Armin.'

He reads it over slowly, speaking the words out loud and he nods. This is good enough. He hovers his mouse over the word 'Send' and he clicks it. He watches the email slip away to nowhere, heading off along the waves of technology and to its addressee.

Turning the computer off, not much liking to leave it on since at this point he really only used it to run searches on certain subjects and send the rare email out, he stretches as he moves away from his chair and slowly half-hobbles out of his office and into his bedroom where the book sits, as if waiting for him.

He settles into the comfortable chair he keeps in the corner of his room, next to the window and he carefully pulls the book to his lap. The cover is old, faded. Some of the pages have slightly curled corners. The book is older than him, he knows to cherish it.

  


When morning light begins to come into his window, through the blinds he had but partly closed, he blinks himself to awareness and winces slightly as he stretches. He looks down at the book in his lap and a soft laugh escapes him. He fell asleep reading the book. He shifts to look at the alarm clock. It's still early and he knows his weekend is not over yet.

Closing the book, he slowly slips from his chair and sets the book down almost reverently. He rubs the back of his neck gently as he makes his way towards his bathroom. A hot, steaming bath to help work out the kinks he feels will be just what he needs, he knows. He draws the water as steamy as he can handle it and undresses. 

Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he shakes his head lightly. The motion isn't so much in disgust at what he sees as it is a sort of weariness. He knows the world will never look at him as if he was like every other being on the planet and he knows to accept it to the best of his abilities, it simply is not always easy.

With another soft sigh, he slips into the water and closes his eyes. He reminds himself that Eoghan will be by later, in a few hours more than likely, for their weekly exercises so that he can still strengthen his mind. His fingers briefly brush over the bracelet about his wrist. He still keeps it on, never takes it off except for small bits of time here and there so he can work on making sure the barrier in his mind is strong. He is getting better, he knows.

"Dear Maude.." he murmurs the words lightly, a soft chuckle escaping him. The woman had almost been a mother to him. She had been kinder to him than his own mother had been, in any case. He didn't know whether it was because she couldn't see him that she didn't judge him. He had let her touch the leg, she had asked and he had had no issues letting her have that much.

His lips quirk into a slight smile as he relaxes into the heat of the tub, feeling kinked muscles begin to loosen slowly. 

"Teach me to fall asleep in that chair. At least the book didn't tumble." He was thankful for that, he doesn't know how he would have reacted to finding the book on the ground, more than likely in poorer shape than it was now. Oh no, he had to cherish it to the very end.


	9. Stopped in the Road

The visit had been wonderful. He had not expected her to call him. Hearing her voice had been such a shock. She had asked for his address and had said that someone would be by in the next hour or so to pick him up. It had slipped his mind that since she was blind, she did have someone to drive her around when she needed to go somewhere.

They had talked and talked, almost endlessly, forgoing snacks and water. They had promised that there would not be a repeat of the last years where he had more or less nearly fallen off of the face of the earth though he had felt a need to. The loss of Andoni had destroyed him in ways he couldn't imagine anything else ever doing.

The trip back however turned out to be a little different and it amused him in ways he hadn't thought it would. The driver was a kind man, one who didn't look at him as if he belonged in a circle or out there where no one would cross his path. The trip in was quiet but the trip out had a little bit of shared chatter until the man stopped in the middle of an empty road.

For a moment, Armin's heart stopped beating, terrified that somehow this had all just been a big setup, that this kind, white-haired man would turn and take his life from him but nothing happened. Armin leaned up slightly over the seat as the man simple stayed sitting in the driver's seat.

"What's the matter?" His words soft, uncertain, as if uttering the wrong words might turn this situation in to a bloody murder. 

The man laughed softly and looked out from his open window, a grin to his face showing a missing teeth that Armin hadn't noticed until now. "Turtles crossing the street."

"What?"

"There are turtles crossing the street."

"I didn't see any turtle."

"Well turtles tend to be rather small, I saw 'em from a distance, this road is pretty empty, y'can step out if you want, won't go nowhere without you."

Not quite certain if he was safe to step out of not, Armin chanced it nonetheless and slowly eased himself from the vehicle. He settled his arm into his crutch and carefully moved towards the front. At first all he saw was the slow motion of something moving but then he did notice that it did look like a turtle. Small as they were he really didn't know how the old man had seen them from afar though he knew some folks just had quite good sight when it came down to that.

The car, behind him, suddenly no longer rumbled with life but he figured it was normal. Short of picking these turtles up to move them along, it would take a bit of time for them to cross, he was in no rush to go anywhere, the fields on either side of him were absolutely beautiful, it wasn't a bad place to be stopped at.

  


It took fifteen minutes, a short enough time by his time and short enough time by his driver's watch it seemed. When he had seen the last of the little turtles cross into the other side of the field though he did wonder as to why they were there at all, he went back into the car and slipped in, setting the crutch down next to him. "We're good to go."

The rest of the ride back to his home was peaceful, still a few words exchanged but to him most of them were meaningless, an old man merely trying to keep a ride from being too quiet as he otherwise refused to turn on the radio. None of it really mattered to Armin though.

He had had himself a wonderful visit back to an old friend. While her health was not perfectly right, she was in no way going to 'abandon' him the way he had her after Andoni's death. She still had quite a few years ahead of her and it warmed him to know he had someone else on this planet he could turn to in this way.

Once he was back in his little study, he found his journal, an old book he only wrote in sporadically now, and located his fountain pen before he began to carefully write down what had happened during his day. His memory was not anywhere near ready to fail him but he knew he wanted to remember these things when it would so it was easier to simply take precautions and just write away. Anything good that happened to him was usually written down.

After several pages had been filled, he let it dry before closing the book and putting the pen away. He stretched and leaned back into his chair for the time being. He had nothing to really do though he could read his book. He was making it last, or at least trying to, only reading a certain number of pages every day. He savoured every bit as if it were the best juice he could have ever tasted. He didn't much care for wine or cake so his savouring couldn't really be compared to them.

  


When nightfall came and he was settled in his bed, now knowing better than to read this brick in his chair for fear of falling asleep with it on his lap, he pulled the large book to his legs. As he usually did, he brushed his fingers almost reverently over the cover, feeling the old, worn leather under his fingertips. He could barely make out the title of the book from the top cover but he didn't need to.

The title was still partially visible on the side and he hardly cared. He knew this book had seen much better days but to him the important part was the inside, the pages had to be clear, intact. It wouldn't do to have a book in hand that you couldn't read. The thought briefly brought him back to that day the teenager had brought back the book the children she had been sitting had somehow managed to destroy to a point of no return.

He shuddered lightly at the memory and shook it off. He couldn't understand why anyone at all would do this to books. They were meant to be cherished, they were supposed to be there when everything else failed to be. When electricity would be no more, when technology would fail them books still would be around, books would still keep them company.

Carefully, he opened the book to the bookmark he had set up and felt a sort of peace fill him, settle into his bones as he did. If others couldn't care properly for books, then he would see about caring for those books himself to the best of his ability. That was, after all, why he worked in a library, in the long run. That way he could keep the books he adored so well as safe as he could.

Not always safe enough, a little voice in his mind told him but he ignored it and he shook his head. He could not save every single book but he could try to save as many as he could. The collection Alexis had in their little home library was proof that not everyone was out to destroy books, it helped him feel better. Maybe once he was done reading the precious one in his lap he would ask Alexis if there was any room for it in their library. He felt it would be safer there.

Pushing away all thoughts of the outside world, he turned his gaze to the words written long ago on the pages and lost himself to the stories he loved so much. It was the best of ways to end his day.


	10. Swimming

The water, so absolutely clear, is warmer than he last recalls it being. Then again, last time he did swim in a pool, it was across the street, Yael and Quentin's pool. Theirs is kept to a certain temperature as it is inside in all ways. He knows this pool is also kept to a certain temperature but with the heat of the sun getting trapped by the clear panes of the solarium, it tended to be, he imagined, hotter. 

He doesn't mind. Water is water and he could spend his whole days in this pool if he didn't have a whole schedule set up for his weekdays. Now as it is Monday afternoon, he knows he should have been downstairs in his room, studying for an upcoming exam though he knows that most of what is in that exam he already knows rather well enough. In a few months things will be more difficult and then he will study more.

Alone in the pool, since Agni preferred playing his video games—Mira knows his brother is not studying—he swims slowly down the length, pauses at one side and then pushes himself off over to the other edge. It is a slow, peaceful sort of time for him and he knows to just enjoy the quietness.

He can hear the wind lightly drift by the solarium. A few of the slight little windows near the top are opened, this he did himself. Through a lot of reading, he knows that solariums usually don't have windows to them but Alexis wanted a breeze, he didn't want them to suffocate in the humid summer heat when they could afford a breeze. He thinks it's a wonderful idea, it keeps him from feeling as if he's in a fish bowl.

When he first came up to the pool, it crossed his mind that he could swim bare, absolutely naked but then he realized that this was hardly a private pool—though in a way it is—and anyone could walk in on him swimming naked. He has nothing to hide, this is hardly the issue but he is somewhat shy about showing himself to the world in this way. Even his brother has not seen him completely bare in some years, despite that Agni himself has been known to wandering around naked between their room.

His brother is self-assured where he just isn't, at least not quite yet.

For a while, done with swimming back and forth, he settles on his back, floating easily and he closes his eyes. He can appreciate quiet time while he knows his brother might prefer to at least have music playing.

  


After a little while, he has no way of really telling how long, his ears pick up the sound of something slipping in the water and a little voice in the back of his mind reminds him that it was a smart idea to not swim naked. Maybe over the heat of the summer, one night, he'd swim naked but not now.

Slowly he pulls himself up from his floating position and looks to one end of the pool and sees nothing, he turns around, looks at the other end and his lips pull into a smile as he starts swimming to that end. "Armin!"

He never thought the man might actually come up to the pool. He knows that not everyone can swim and while he doesn't know whether Armin knows or not, he thought that with his legs—though he doesn't judge him for that, merely speculates—the man might not come anywhere near the pool.

He can read in Armin's eyes and in the way he acts that he tries to not think of the way people look at him but it still reaches for him deep down inside. The thought makes Mira made but he's aware there's nothing he can do about it. The closer he swims, the clearer the slightly older man becomes. Wearing shorts, his legs in the water, a slight little smile to his lips. It is as if he trusts Mira to not judge him for how he looks and that is rather how things turn out. 

Mira's curiosity does pull at him and briefly he studies those leg, one slightly thinner than the other, not quite shaped as it should but that is all he does. Once he's close enough to the shallows and to the man he has come to admire, he smiles brightly. The smile is returned.

"I didn't think you would come to the pool, it's nice and warm right now, hotter than I wish it was but that's the sun, it's comfortable though. You're not going to swim though, are you?" He assumes, the words are clear in his question that it is curiosity more than anything else. He sees no signs that there might be a bathing suit of sorts being worn. The man merely is there for a dip in the water with his legs. It's more than fine by Mira.

"Did you have a good trip yesterday?"

Armin quirks a brow at him, as if surprised by the question and Mira blushes lightly as if he had blurted out some sort of secret. "I saw you leave in that car in the morning and you came back late. I'm sorry if I wasn't supposed to know."

"Ah, no, no that's okay. Yes, I briefly went out of town to visit an old friend. Someone I hadn't seen in some years and we talked about back then, we brought ourselves back up to date with what has been going on in our lives. And then," he pauses, his eyes almost glowing and Mira's own widen, waiting, suspenseful. "We saw tiny little turtles!"

He laughs and Mira blinks a moment before canting his head, curious once more. "Turtles?"

"Yes, turtles. We had to stop driving in the middle of nowhere because there were a few turtles crossing the street in front of us. We waited for them to be done going across before we started on the way again."

"I wish I could have been there, I've never seen real turtles!" He knows what they look like from plenty of searches online, from looking through books and through websites. He craves all the knowledge he can get about anything in the world, animals, plants, bugs. Finding information about anything and everything about what surrounds them seems to fill in a huge hole that was eating away at him.

"They were adorable little things. I could have picked them up and dropped them over but I didn't. It was easier to just watch them slowly cross the road. I don't know why they were there to begin with though there might have been a body of water not too far off. I just hope they're safe where they're now. Crossing that road has to be dangerous though it's usually empty. I know that plenty of folks might not stop for them, would just keep on rolling."

"That's just terrible." It is terrible and he knows it. He frowns but shakes it off with a smile. "I'm glad you came up. I thought maybe I might never see you up here but it's nice to know you do come!"

"Well, I don't swim, I never have. I don't own a bathing suit but I thought I might try to see how the water felt and I know that none of you really judge me based on my appearance so it makes it easier to not feel so self-conscious about myself."

The words warm Mira and he beams again, the smile so bright someone might have compared it to the sun. Armin laughs softly and playfully splashes the teen. His life really is going rather well. He has rekindled with an old friend, he has people in this very building he can call friends just the same, people who do not judge him and it makes him feel as if things are finally heading into the right direction.

He couldn't ask or more. At least, that is, not considering the voices in his head but that is his gift and he adapts to it a little more every day.


	11. Dropped Off

"Why are we walking?" There is a soft, childish tone in those words. A soft little huff of mock-despair. He doesn't much care for the idea that he has to walk, perhaps because of how much he has had to walk before in his life. Besides him, his brother only smiles at him, a warm, brotherly sort of smile. Everything in him that was against this idea to walk melts away.

"I told Armin that we would take these books back to that one store that takes back used books and sells them for really low prices for the folks who can't afford them. I did think that we could take the bus but it's not that far and today is honestly a beautiful day, I just wanted to spend some time outside with you. Zora hasn't taken us anywhere since I fell down the hill and I broke my arm."

Besides him, Agni winces lightly at the memory but he shakes it off and holds the book a little closer to his chest. There aren't that many, he's not really worried about the weight of them but the idea of walking simply had not appealed to him when Mira had more or less dragged him outside and handed him half the bundle of books.

Now though, now he takes a moment to breathe in the fresh air, the still present scent of blooming flowers, the breeze. The sun is warm on his golden skin and his lips quirk into a smile. The day is beautiful and he knows that if Mira had not offered to take Armin's books to the boutique, the man would have spent money on the bus and it would have been something of a waste in the long run. This was good for them and he knows he can appreciate a warm, sunny day just walking with his brother.

"What do we do once we've dropped off the books?"

"Well I do have a bit of pocket money, we can get lunch somewhere and settle in the park not far from home? Or we could just wander aimlessly, it's a bit hard to get lost now that we've gotten used to this place." He smiles and shifts the weight of the books in his arms.

For a second, Agni worries that the books are too heavy for his brother but then he has to remind himself that he's the one who always refuses to ask for help. Mira asks when he needs help. "I'm glad you dragged me along even though I know I was groaning about it all along for the first ten minutes."

Again, his brother only smiles at him, that content, I'm-alive-and-today's-a-good-day smile. Agni sighs, the sound of peaceful and content. They simply keep on walking side by side, letting the sun warm their skin.

  


Once the books are dropped off, they walk just a small distance further away to a small sandwich shop. They could have simply crossed the street to the fast food place but one thing they have yet to truly try is fast food and the appeal just isn't there. They each get a sandwich, Mira a croissant with turkey, brie and cranberries, Agni a ciabatta with a sort of spicy chicken salad that he's yet to try.

Each with their little bag in one hand and bottles of juices in the other, they cross to the small little park and settle there to eat, simply sitting side by side. They have no need for shared words, they are so used to being together that spending time just sitting this way, shoulder to shoulder, appreciating a good meal is as good as it gets for them. Words only get in the way.

With a meal sating their hunger, they start slowly on the walk back home, hurrying in no way. The sun still is bright and clear above them and if their skin can take on an even darker gold in colour, then all the better.

"Remember how dark our skin used to be when we were in India?" Agni breaks their comfortable silence as they wait on the light to turn so they can get across the street without fear of being run over by a car. There is not a single soul in the streets but chances are best not taken in these cases.

"We were constantly outside in the sun though we were some of the paler ones in the family, even Zora's a bit darker than us, just barely. Not that she'll be long if we keep on spending time outside after work and on the weekends." .

"That actually sounds like a plan."

  


Once home, instead of stepping inside, they round up to the back of their building and step towards the little shed where most things that seem to have no real 'home' gets kept. A few baseballs, a pair of gloves or two, some tennis rackets and balls, a little bit of everything for every little game they might wish to ever really try.

They look at their choices for a few moments before Mira shakes his head and looks up to the roof. "We should just get the sunblock so we don't actually burn and we should just laze up on the roof. The day's so warm I don't think we could get much of anything productive done. We've already done our good deed for the day as is."

Agni nods and closes the shed. They turn around and head back to the front. They know they can step back in from the back but they prefer not to. Once at the front, they step inside and head up the stairs to their apartment. Only Mira steps inside to find their bottle of lotion. Once he finds it, they head to the end of the hallway to get to the steps that lead them straight up to the roof.

"The breeze feels even better here up on the roof." Mira closes his eyes and breathes in deeply, taking in the scents of the sky, of the air. It feels almost fresher up on the roof. At least, that is what he tells himself.

Agni laughs softly and takes the bottle from his brother before he heads to the edge of the roof where several lounging chairs are settled. Of course there is a fence all about the roof to keep accidents from happening though it is nearly unseen. He sits down on one of the chairs and motions to his brother to settle. 

Mira only takes a moment to stretch out in the sun before he follows his brother and settles. He takes off his shoes and his shirt before turning his back to his sibling. It takes a few minutes for both of them to be sufficiently protected from the sun and they each settle on their chairs. Shoes off, shirts off and shorts just comfortable in the warm summer heat. 

They both know that before too long this heat will become humid and staying inside will be preferable but for now they both know they can appreciate the day as it is given to them.

"Thanks for walking with me to drop off those books, Agni."

"You know I complain most of the time but I'd do anything you ask me to, Mira." The answer comes after a moment of thoughtful silence though the words are as honest as they could ever be. Agni smiles at nothing in particular, his eyes closed as he simply relaxes right where he's at. This is a good day. Their days are not always good but they try their very best to make the best of every day they have on this planet. 


	12. It Surrounds You

"Now remember what I told you. It's not about forcing it to happen, it's about letting it flow over you, letting it surround you." I still hold his hand because I know that if I let go, he'll fall into the pull of the voices. With his bracelet off, I know he can handle the idea of setting up a wall for himself but he's not quite strong enough for that wall to really be a natural presence. I don't really know how to get him to understand that one part. I honestly can't recall how it was explained to me.

He nods and closes his eyes, I feel his mind slowly begin to relax. It's quieter when I'm holding onto him. The bracelet is a good blocking agent but it still lets in whispers. I know he's gotten used to them but it doesn't really make me feel any better. I can't go back in time and make it so I'd met him much sooner and gotten his gift going earlier. There's no proof that he would have taken to the teaching as he does now as it is.

I can't help the smile that finds my face when I feel him relax as a whole. He leans back in his chair and I still let my fingers hold his. I'm not letting him go now when I know he's at his most vulnerable. I listen to his mind from the outside as best as I can. I can tell that the bricks of his protective wall are slowly settling into place. I think that before too long he'll be able to go about his daily life without the bracelet on for much longer periods of time.

"Feel as if you're just floating in water, I know you can't swim but this is your mind, it's different. Just focus on my voice, on how the words flow. You're just floating in water, it is everywhere. It is below you, besides you and above you. You open your mouth and water fills you. You're not choking, you are part of the water, you're all right. Water is you."

Water is usually the easiest thing to get someone to focus. Even if he's never been in a pool in his life, he has been in the shower and I bet he has been in a tub. It's the same thing, water surrounds us we just float. Most of us in any case.

He gasps briefly as I feel his mind follow in with the water flowing over him and into him. He doesn't struggle and he lets go. This is good. Water is a good dampener honestly and I slowly, carefully remove my hand from his. He doesn't try to hold me back. I'm not far, my mind still is with his and as our fingers part, I feel the voices that usually attack him bounce partly off the 'water' as it now surrounds him. I nod to myself and I reach for his hand again.

He grasps at my fingers and his eyes shoot open the moment we touch. He hacks and coughs as if he's just broken through the water and I chuckle gently. I only squeeze his fingers to remind him I'm there and I smile at him when he looks at me with those wide, uncertain eyes.

"That actually went rather well. In a way, your gift, our gift is a bit like water when you let it. When you're in water, under the water more precisely, everything gets a little dulled. Sound travels differently. Now I'm not saying you absolutely have to learn to swim or that you have to change your method when it comes to blocking the voices. I'm just saying that this is another option."

He nods and I squeeze his fingers gently.

"Let me show you something, all right?" 

  


I'm not sure where we are though that hardly matters. When he looks around us, his smile is all there though there is a somewhat sad twist to his lips. This might be where he met Andoni. I only bring us into his mindscape, I don't dig through his memories. Everywhere we see is from his mind and that's just the point of everything in the end.

"Where are we?" He finally turns to me, still with that crutch, it is part of him entirely. I shrug gently and I motion to our surroundings.

"We're somewhere in your mind. This is called a mindscape. I just opened a pathway and I brought us here. It's easier to teach here but not everyone is comfortable with the idea of letting someone else so completely into their mind."

He looks around again and I can almost see him trying to connect the dots in his mind. On our left there is an old sort of apartment. It looks like it has seen much better days. On our right there is nothing but empty space. His memories are somewhat strange, as if everything is set into little compartment and only bits and pieces come together. Yael's mind is very different from this. I don't mind, I can work with this.

"I know you've been up to the pool area with Mira, care to take us there?"

He looks at me as if I've just asked him to pull down the moon and I laugh softly. I offer him a softly sheepish sort of smile and I shrug. At times I forget that I know all I do because I've been here and around for a while.

"Just imagine us at the pool. Or if you've ever been at the beach, you could imagine us at the beach but the pool might be easier."

He nods and closes his eyes for a moment. I brush some hair from his face and he sighs, leaning into the touch. I know how badly he misses human contact. That's why I don't mind spending time with him this way. He deserves company. He's not much different than I am in the long run, still just a soul in a body and every soul needs affection.

Around us, the air shimmers and the old building disappears to be replaced by the pool. I nod to myself and I chuckle. "Very well, Armin. At some point, in the next few months, I'll let you into my own mindscape, I'll show you where I was born."

His eyes widen in surprise and I know I've just offered him something no one else will ever be able to offer.

"Do you feel like you could try the water exercise we've tried here in your mind? There's no safer place and I will never let anything come to harm you, I promise."

He looks down at his clothes and I have to laugh again softly.

"While I have no issues with being naked, I suppose you might," he blushes as if to answer that point, "and we can just do this with the clothes we're wearing. This is your mind after all, you can be wearing anything you want."

I move to sit on the edge of the pool. I roll up my pants, leave my shoes off on the side. Wet clothes in the mind are just one of those things and I hardly mind them. I'll be dry as can be when I leave this mindscape with him.

He looks down at the pool with a somewhat uncertain look before he's moving to sit next to me. I smile at him as he slips his crutch from his arm and leaves it on the edge of the pool. "What we'll do just now is just float. No pulling you under. I don't think you're quite ready for this. Maybe next time when I let you visit my old family home."

He nods and slowly step-hobble into the water. It is hot, not quite steamy but still hotter than I figure it usually is. Then again I haven't been in the pool on the roof yet but I suppose it might get pretty hot with the way it is setup.

I follow him into the water. I stand next to him as he tries to get his body to float the way it was in his mind during our earlier exercise and I simply settle, I set my hands beneath his back, one near his knees and I straighten him up. For a long moment he's tense but then he relaxes and I smile down at him.

He smiles back and closes his eyes.

"I'm going to just walk you into slightly deeper water, nothing you can't handle. I'm still here with you, just trust me."

He keeps his eyes closed, his breathing is still calm and steady as I head into somewhat deeper water, barely to my waist and I keep my hands to his back and knees.

After a few moments, I do pull one hand back and he remains relaxed, peaceful. I chuckle and finally pull my other hand away. Still he floats and simply breathes a sigh. Part of me had expected him to flail, I guess I shouldn't underestimate him.

"You're doing so well, Armin. One thing you can try, when you feel that the voices are trying too hard to get to you, is you imagine this place and this pool, you imagine you're just floating in a sea of nothing with no one to bother you. It should help. It helped me when I was still learning to grasp the controls of my gift."

  


We spent almost an hour in his mindscape, almost a dreamscape by now. He was so relaxed when we pulled back to the surface that I felt as if I'd actually done more than a good action. He slipped the bracelet back on before I released his hand.

"I can barely even hear the whispers now."

My smile just widens and I nod. This is wonderful news. The bracelet is just meant to put up a barrier, the whispers still get through but if he's able to essentially no longer hear the whispers then his own painless mental wall is growing stronger, this is wonderful news.

Again I reach out, brush my hand over his cheeks and he leans against the touch.

"I know you think you might end up living the rest of your life alone, Armin, but I'm more than sure someone will come along and give you all you deserve and then some. It's just one of those feelings and I'm very rarely wrong."

He shrugs but straightens. "I don't mind alone."

"Armin, everyone needs love and affection, one way or another. Even just the simplest of things like touch. It keeps us going. I'll see you for our shared supper. You've been officially invited this time. It was about time you because part of the family as a whole and not as just a distant cousin."

"I'll think about it."

"Nuh huh, Armin, you're coming and that's final. It's supper and a movie. We'll see you there."


	13. Make a List

Usually when we're settled in bed, we're mostly settled. Lately though we've had a lot of bed company and it makes discovering other things a little more difficult but I don't mind. The kittens are getting adventurous and it amuses me to no end, to be honest. Most of them sleep in the cats's room. We've set up extra beds and extra towers and they're discovering the joys of so many things.

Right now though, it's somewhere around early morning. The sun has just barely begun to peek through the curtains. I've slept all I could sleep and I guess this is why I'm just sitting, propped up on my pillow with a pencil in my hand and a pad of paper against my knees. Next to me, Quentin is still sound asleep. Coby is against his knees and Maris at the foot of the bed. I saw Areli playfully chasing Izar out and about earlier. These kittens are growing up so fast.

I've managed to fall back into the easier desire to sketch. I still don't do it as much as I used to but I feel a certain satisfaction in knowing I do sketch now when I hadn't in some time. I haven't touched the clay or the brand new camera we did get for me though I've looked it over from all angles. I think I'll be using it before too long. I see it now, the walls plastered with pictures of cats, more cats, some Quentin, some more cats and a lot of flowers.

Next to me, Quentin stirs lightly and he rubs his eyes as he shifts his weight closer to me. He stops when he realizes I'm not in my usual position and he blinks, looking up to me. I smile at him softly and reach out to brush some hair from his face. He sighs and closes his eyes, nuzzling against my thigh. I chuckle and shake my head. 

"What are you doing?" his words are soft and drowsy still. I look at the mostly empty paper on my knees and I shrug.

"I started sketching the kittens as they came on and off the bed but then I lost sight of them so I just started making a list."

"What of?"

"This and that. Places we'd like to visit, things we might need, stuff I should take photos of." "We already have a list of places we'd like to visit."

I laugh and shrug. He has a point. I look at the half-list on my lap again and I try to make sense of the words I've written. I don't honestly see much of anything connecting any of those things together. "I might have just been writing down everything that was crossing my mind while you were resting, really."

At times it's just like that, I'll start in on something and realize that it's not really going much of anywhere so I just let it be. I keep on doing whatever I was doing and in the end, even if the results don't go anywhere, I keep it. It's abstract art in its own way.

  


After we've rounded up all seven of our housemates and fed them, I disappear up in to the garden for the next hour or two. This is routine by now. I check up on the growth of flowers, fruits and vegetables. I clip what has gone over its prime. I gather flowers and hang them up to dry. It's a lot of work but it's good, exhausting work and I love doing it.

We still don't open up this area to the cats. I don't know how they would take to it. I suppose we could but I don't know that we feel safe in thinking they might just start to dig up stuff and we're not really ready for that.

When I'm done with my garden work, I make sure I'm not tracking dirt everywhere and I head back down to the main floors. The day, though still early, is already showing signs of being a hot, steamy one. I think time in the pool will be interesting. We go around the rooms and close the curtains to keep the coolness in the house and the heat outside. It's one of those things we've gotten into the habit of doing else the house just gets uncomfortably hot, even with the AC going.

My randomly half-written list is still on the kitchen counter when we come back there as a meeting point and I look it over. I honestly don't know what was going through my mind. It has things on there that just don't connect. Portugal, apples, stars, dreams, flowers. There's a bit of everything on there and I might manage to make more sense of it later on, for now I don't think too much about it.

  


We spend the next few hours just settled in the living room, listening to low music and relaxing. The cats come and come, playing, jumping, learning. Tonight is a shared meal night, it might be why we're currently taking things so easily. We just like to have a lot of peaceful moments between us before we go up to Alexis's and Eoghan's place for that shared meal and movie. It's wonderful time, everyone together but it can get exhausting.

I might take the camera with. It might be a good starting point. Take photos of everyone. Maybe I can do a sort of mural outside or just start it on canvas and move it on something bigger before too long. Put everyone in there. I think we could all like that. Or maybe I could do what I'd done some months back with Quentin, paint us back in time, or in the future. It might depend but that could be interesting. Paint us all as if we were from another century.

For Alexis and Eoghan I know they've been through those times and they are from another century—in Alexis's case another millennium—so it might not be so farfetched but for the rest of us who have been born in this century and have been living here, I think that a mock sight into what we could have been like in the past could be interesting.

I don't know why I'm so fascinated with things from the past like this. It's just how I am I guess and I just like the idea of discovering things gone by. Maybe I should have been an archaeologist. One of these folks who dig up old bones and study them and whatnot. 

I know there's just so much I could be doing honestly that I don't know where I would begin. Not that it matters, I have a lot of time ahead of me, time to discover new things and to figure out the world as a whole. I know I have a lot. I know I should be thankful for all I have and I am.

Though I'm most thankful for Quentin and the life we have now, of course. Without him I wouldn't be around and I don't know that I'd still have my life. At times it hurts when I think back about Sterling and how he lost is life but that is in the past and I do all I can to not focus on that. I have a present, I have a future. I can't just forget the past but I can spend as little time as I can thinking about it.

I think I'll do that mural. Though first as a regular painting, I have a huge canvas waiting for me in my studio. I'd first thought of setting it up as a landscape but I might just see about using it for us instead. To depict our growing family. I might see about adding signs of Adela and the cats. Just add in everyone and everything that surrounds us.

That's a good idea.


	14. A Mountain

"That is a lot of paperwork, what happened?" He looks the mountain of papers sitting on my desk a moment, as if he has no idea where it came from. I suppose I don't blame him, it did sort of seem to happen overnight, even I'm not sure where it all really came from. I shrug and sigh, almost tempted to throw it all out the window though I know I can't.

"Someone I know in the field, she's like us, we've worked on a couple of cases together before and she knows I can pretty much see through most folks when I read my way through their files so she thought she'd ask my help." I let my forehead lightly thud to the desk with another sigh. I had not expected a folder of this size, it's insane. It's like the guy spent his whole life doing harm to others it's so thick. I don't know what she's trying to prove by claiming he's innocent.

"Anjali?" He tests the name from his memory. I think I might have mentioned it once. Though if I skim the papers briefly it might be written somewhere or he's picked it up off the top of my head. I don't really care honestly how he's done it. I nod and rub the bridge of my nose. Eoghan knows this is one of those things where he can't help me, even though he might want to.

There are specific things I'm looking for in these papers and it would take too long to explain those to him. One of these days I might just start explaining it all away though, it might help me when I accept to help Anjali. I offer him a wry sort of smile and he shakes his head at the files and folders scattered over the desk.

"I'll leave you to your detective-ish work. I'll just make sure you're fed and that you don't fall asleep in here. Did you need to feed Adela today?" I shake my head but murmur a soft thank you. Leave it to him to think of those small details that might slip my mind. I love Adela, I'd do anything to keep her safe but I've been known to forget the world exist when cases like these land in my lap and rather unexpectedly.

"I'll check on you around noon to bring you something to eat."

"Thank you, love."

He leaves the room and partly closes the door, leaving it open just enough so that I can hear the faint sounds of him wandering around the apartment when he's not too far from my office. It's good enough for me.

  


By noon, though it only feels like a little while has gone by, he knocks on the door with a platter of finger foods. Things that I can eat without leaving much of a stain on anything. Nothing greasy and nothing with bits that might threaten to fall out.

He looks at the scattered files once more and shakes his head with a low note. "I bet she didn't tell you it would be this big a file when she asked you for help. When exactly are you supposed to get back to her on this one?"

I shrug as I stuff a bit of food into my mouth. I try to recall as I look another paper over. As far as I've read, the guy is good for the bin and he never should have been let out. I suppose he might not be there enough in the head to be considered guilty for his last crime. "Tomorrow morning but I'll get this done tonight."

"You better, else I might just find it in myself to be very cross with you."

His warning is loud and clear though his voice is soft and worried. I know he's only looking out for my well-being and I'm thankful for that.

  


"I don't know what else you want me to tell you, Anjali. They never should have let him out of that establishment. Don't try to tell me he got out on his own, he couldn't have managed that much of a feat."

There is the soft knock on the door of dinner warning and I briefly mute my phone to let him in. He sees the bluetooth headset as he steps in and stays quiet. I mouth him a thank you as he sets the platter down as I unmute my call again. "Don't push your luck, Anjali. This guy has the thought process of a five years old. He might be able to open doors and maybe fiddle with keypads until he figures out a code but he can't go as far as plan an escape from the bin and get out by himself, someone helped him."

Eoghan listens from the doorway for a moment before he closes the door again, nearly completely this time and I know it's just his way of giving me my privacy. This is one of those things I don't really miss from working the law. The long hours, the mountains of paperwork, the reading through everything ten times to make sure I didn't miss out on any detail. I haven't seen a case this big in some years and while I know I could do miracles with it, or could have if I'd had more than a day to read through it, right now I just want to give her my findings so I can go on living my life.

"You asked me to help you along. You didn't say what I was supposed to look for. Now I'm telling you what his files are telling me. He might fit the 'insane' criteria but he didn't get out on his own. Someone wanted him loose so I'd suggest looking in on that. I'll be sending you these files back by courier come morn- No, I am not coming in to help you. This is your case, I've stepped down and I'm staying stepped down for the next couple of decades at least."

I hang up the call and I turn the cellphone off. I told her all I could at this point and there's nothing more I can do. This isn't my case, there's only so much I can do and so much I want to do. I've done it all. In the morning I'll box this all up and send it back to her by courier. That's all there is to it.

I take my untouched platter of food after taking the headset off and I step out of the office. I rub my eyes lightly and wince as something pops in my back. I didn't much move today and I'm going to pay the price for that tomorrow, I know. I step into the kitchen and smile at Eoghan sitting at the table with his own food.

His eyes brighten up at the sight of me and I know I can't do this often. I can't stay away from him the way I used to, it might very well be the end of us both if I do.

"Note to self," I murmur as I sit down next to him, "if Anjali calls, leave it be, she's a big girl and she can take care of her own cases. I'm pretty sure I didn't tell her anything new about her client today." He laughs softly and I bump my shoulder lightly into his.

"I'm sorry about today. I know we didn't really have anything planned but I wanted to spend my time with you, not locked in the office with more papers than I've ever wanted to see in my life."

He shrugs and picks up a bit of food, offering it to me. I take it more than willingly, nipping at his fingers gently as I do. "It's work. Doesn't mean I like it when you-"

"But it's not work, Eoghan. I don't do the attorney thing anymore, at least not at this point and more than likely not for another couple of decades at the very least. It won't happen again."

"I forgive you if it does because I know you can't help yourself. It's part of who you are, it's part of your very complex nature." 

I shake my head at his words but leave them be. As a chaotic-born demon, it actually is mostly against my nature to want to help others but I know I go against my nature most of the time. I don't really care for the idea of being chaotic, in the long run.

"I love you."

He smiles and simply offers me another bite of food. I know I'll cherish him to the end of our lives.


	15. In a Shambles

One might want to believe that earthquakes are at the source of every little mess. At least, some people might think that way, especially when they have a good look at this one particular bedroom though it hardly is nature's fault. This mess has been made by one particular individual who has nothing to do with earth at all. His gift is closer to that of heat and fire.

Perhaps one might blame that he still is a teenager, growing up into his life as it is and leave it at that but really that is hardly an excuse. His brother's room is absolutely spotless, clean as can be though yes, it is more than possible that both brothers might not feel the same way when it comes to cleaning up their rooms.

  


"AGNI!" The called out name echoes almost shrilly along the walls. From his room, Mira looks out into the hallway a moment, peering at his sister and then towards the barely opened door to his brother's room. This has little to nothing to do with him. He keeps his own area as clean as can be but he likes the fluidity of a clean room. He can wander left and right without tripping on anything.

Agni, currently no where to be seen in their apartment, is outside, sunning himself in the hot afternoon sun. Chaos is just part of his life as a whole, he sees no point to really picking up after himself. At least, except when he trips on something and stubs his toe. Then he reminds himself that he should at least pick up a little after himself so he has, at the very least, a clear pathway from his door to his bed and maybe to his desk though that one isn't quite as important.

"Mira, where is your brother?" Zora looks in on the youngest of her siblings. He looks back at her a moment and shrugs gently. 

"He could be outside, I heard him wander out an hour or so ago, after we got home from the library." He knows that the only time where Agni bothers at all with cleaning up is usually during the weekends. During the week time he will complain that he's worked too hard at the library and that he's tired, too tired to pick up a few bits of clothes and other who knows what lying on the floor.

Mira turns back to his book and Zora leaves him be. Her brothers are growing up in their own way. It was hard to have a messy home before since they didn't even have a home to call their own. Now that they did, their habits were settling and she preferred those of the youngest at this point.

She walks the length of the apartment, looking into every room, as if to make sure that her brother might not be hiding somewhere before she caves in and steps outside and out to the back where Agni is indeed sunning himself. Sprawled on one of the lounging chairs, his shirt off and hanging at the top of that very chair.

"Agni Bachchan, get your shirt back on this instant and come back inside this very minute. Your room is an absolute mess and I refuse to see it that way." Her words are sharp, they startle him out of his slight doze and he blinks up at her a moment, rubbing his eyes to clear the sleep from them.

"No one is going to bother looking into my room so I don't see why I need to clean it up. I'm tired, I worked hard. I'll pick up this weekend."

"Stop lazing around, Agni. You might not remember it but back home, a messy room was frowned upon, it was dangerous. Clothes need to be put away and books set where they belong. Our parents would have a fit if they saw how poorly you pick up after yourself."

This seems to spark something in Agni. He sits up and grabs his shirt, turning a hurt look to his sister as he pulls his shirt back on.

"You grew up with that family, we were torn away from it before I could even begin to make memories. Our parents are dead, they'll never see my room or yours or perfect little Mira's. So get off my back about how they'd have a fit if they saw my room because they never will. They'll never see us again and I'll never be able to look them in the face and tell them I loved them. They're dead and they're not coming back!"

  


Supper is awkward. Agni has locked himself away in his room and is refusing to come out, Zora looks like she might prefer to be hiding in a hole for the rest of her life and Mira is merely puzzled by the behaviour of his siblings. It isn't his place to ask and he will not.

He leaves Agni to his brooding or whatever it is he's doing. He can hardly be cleaning for how quiet it is in that bedroom, something that is rather rare as the barely older boy likes his music and tends to drown out everything else with it whenever he can get away with it.

Zora clears up the table after having barely eaten anything herself. She disappears off into her room, leaving Mira to wonder just what this new fight is about. It isn't rare, those slight fights between wind and fire but they rarely last long, he only hopes that things will settle before too long.

He knows he can always escape the tension of their apartment by making himself scarce and seeing about spending time with Armin but the thought that things could go wrong while he's out of the apartment keep him inside where most things are 'safer'. Where he can keep an eye on things without really doing that much. His presence seems to be the only thing keeping things civil in their household.

After a little while, he walks to his brother's room and lightly knocks on the door. He knows they had not eaten since coming home and now with dinner skipped on Agni's part, Mira simply wants to make sure that things are going to be all right in the long run.

His knocking goes unanswered and he knocks again. He knows better than to barge into that room. If not for the mess then for the sake of not invading his brother's privacy. "Agni, I just want to make sure you're all right. You've skipped out on dinner and I know you have to be hungry. I don't know what you and Zora argued about but it's just not healthy to let it eat away at you."

Still the door remains closed in his face and he sighs. He closes his eyes, leaning his ear lightly against the side of the wall as if to listen to whatever might be happening inside. Everything is quiet and peaceful. Maybe he's gone to sleep.

"Well okay, if that's how things are going to be I guess that's how they will. I left you your meal in the fridge, it's all wrapped up and ready to be reheated. I even added in extra spices to your plate because I know that's how you like them. I hope you come out of your cook and eat before too long. Tomorrow's supposed to be a big day."

Still in the quiet of the hallway, he shakes his head and turns back around to slip back to his room. There is only so much more he can do about this all and he knows he's done it all. He can't force himself on his brother and he refuses to even entertain the thought. It would only strain their slowly growing and changing relationship.


	16. Explore

"You think they're going to be all right?" His voice is soft and low, murmuring as if it was a necessity though it hardly is unless they're trying to not spook whatever wild life there might be around in the woods.

"We're only going to be gone for a few hours, Yael, they'll be just fine, honestly. At times you worry far, far too much. They are cats and growing kittens, not newborns, helpless infants. Why are we whispering?" There is a gentle note of amusement to Quentin's voice as he shoulders his bag a little more and turns down another slighter path. They've decided that now was a good time to finally explore, somewhat, the woods behind their home.

"I don't know!" The reply still comes in a whispered tone though Yael laughs moment later as he straightens to follow his companion deeper into the woods. Every few yards he ties a bit of ribbon to a tree branch at eye-level so he knows where he's going and which way they will be coming back from. "I can't help worrying about them, I've never been out of the house for any long period of time since I've moved in."

A true sort of fact and not because he'd rather be inside. He has been out for walks, out for evenings with friends and out to get fresh bread and jam in the mornings. He merely has more interesting in spending time inside with their growing pets or up in the garden when he's not in his studio, letting his imagination finally get the better of him again.

"We'll only be gone some hours. At most we'll be back by nightfall. I have the flashlights with me and snacks and you've got a few other tidbits I packed up in your bag too. We're just playing explorer in our own woods, that's all. I know we have a river a slight distance off but I can't recall which way it was. Are you marking the trees?"

Yael nods and looks back to their trail with a soft chuckle. "I am and I finally found a use for those awful ribbons you still had a whole box of."

Quentin blushes deeply and his face closes up for a heartbeat as he looks apologetic in ways that are hard to comprehend; at least for those who might not understand the situation, that is. He stays quiet for the next fifteen or so minutes as they simply walk, following an almost path that is clear on the ground, a natural sort of trail.

  


After some hours of mostly mindless walking though they made sure to not go around in circles, they settle in a slight clearing. The day is humid and the bare breeze that ruffles the branches around them is hardly enough to cool them down.

"I think I saw a doe a little while back. We managed to not spook her." Yael pulls the back off his shoulder as he flops down on a patch of ground he's swept as clean as it might get. He digs through it and pulls out two containers. They're still fresh from resting against the icepack that had been settled in with them to keep them edible.

He hands one of the boxes over and in exchange he gets a juice box and an apple. He looks up above his head and squints against the dappling sun to try to see through to the sky though he can hardly make anything out, the foliage is thick and the light only comes through in patches though they're enough to partially blind him when he looks up.

"Any idea where we are?"

Quentin shakes his head and shrugs as he takes a bit of his sandwich. "None honestly though I know we're still on our land, we'd have crossed fences otherwise. I know which way we came though, the markers you've set up are visible enough."

"They're ribbons."

"I'm aware they're ribbons, I'm just trying to not bring up that word around you as I know it's not one of your favourite." The words are offered with a bit of a strain though Quentin sighs and shakes his head. 

"Quentin, I'm not holding a grudge here. I'm just glad I found a use for these things else they would have kept on going to waste, I'm not even sure why they still were in the house. It happened, we can't go back in time and change that. It was almost a year ago. I forgave you and Eoghan both when it happened. Mentioning the word 'ribbons' isn't going to start me convulsing or something, I'm fine. I just don't want them anywhere near my hair, that's all."

"Okay, okay, I give. I just want you happy and I know that moment in our lives was nowhere near happy. I honestly think I forgot I still had these in the house I swear I thought I'd gotten all of them thrown out."

Yael only smiles softly as he takes another bite of his sandwich. He knows that things from the past need to stay in the past, like his thoughts on Sterling. He knows he should bring those up to Quentin, bring to attention that somehow the past had found its way to him again and he has been having dreams involving his long dead friend. Nothing to scar him but the man hadn't crossed his mind in a long time now.

"Let's just eat some more, explore a bit longer and head home. This place is beautiful but this heat is going to kill us before we really get anywhere."

"I guess we should explore in spring or autumn, huh?" Quentin laughs softly and not far from them a bird takes off to the sky, startled by the sudden sound.

  


When they finally break through from the woods and step back onto the cleared out area that is their back yard, the moon is beginning to rise to its place in the sky. Yael puts away his flashlight and Quentin follows suit as they start their way across the semi-dark yard. They know the area is clear of debris and they have no need to be overly careful of where they step.

"I'm starving and I stink, I don't know which I have to take care of first." Quentin's words are thoughtful as he walks along Yael's side, watching their home draw closer with every step.

Yael chuckles softly and shrugs as he brushes a bit of damp hair from his face. The day had been exceptionally hot, a bit uncomfortable really but he was glad he'd worn his hair up in the morning before they left. 

"Well, I suppose you could go on and shower while I prepare us a meal but you might miss out on all those little playful extras that are always fun to discover when we conserve some water and shower together." His voice is low, there is an undertone to it that Quentin has learned to know over time and his lips quirk into a smile as he nods.

"We prepare something to eat, or I suppose I can let you do that while I check in on the cats and make sure they have plenty of food to last them up until morning, we eat and then we see about making sure we're absolutely clean, yes?"

"Sounds like a plan." 

As they step inside and begin to part ways, Quentin stops and turns briefly, his head canted. "Did you have fun today, Yael?"

Blinking, Yael stops and turns somewhat to face his companion and lover. The question confuses him somewhat, he knows he's made it clear he had appreciated the day so he's not overly certain of the reason behind the question. "Of course I did, Quentin. Any time I spend with you is time well spent and is time I enjoy. It was fun to discover the forest a bit though we did mostly just wander aimlessly and almost get lost. I had a good day, thank you."

Quentin's shoulders sag slightly in relief though he smiles brightly and does go on his way. 

There is so much to explore, he knows. They still have a long way to go.


	17. Flat Tyre

What had started as a quiet drive into the country to go pick up one particular piece of furniture sold by an old woman whose husband had passed turned out to be closer to an adventure that either one of them had expected. Though not much of an adventure, it still took a rather unexpected turn.

The drive to the old farm had been quiet, the AC on full blast in the car with the windows closed to keep the fresh air inside. The air outside was sticky and humid. An uncomfortable sort of day, one that is best spent inside where the air is cool and where access to water is easy.

The radio station was changed a few times over, neither Alexis nor Eoghan wanting to listen to what the other had decided was 'proper' music for the moment. The drive ended up at the farm with no music playing at all. There was no tension between the two men, only a kind of quiet amusement that they couldn't settle on something so simple.

Eoghan discussed with the old woman while Alexis, with the help of the woman's oldest son, carefully worked the desk into the van. The back seats had all been lowered to give room, only leaving up the front row. The desk was tied down with the utmost of care and once they were ready to head their way once more, they thanked the old woman, told her they would take the best of cares of the desk and they went on their way.

Of course, as most things turn out when one expects only the simplest of days, they only managed to cover a slight distance before one of the tires decided that it didn't want to go any further.

  


"I don't get it. They were fine last time we used this car." Eoghan's voice is somewhat uncertain as he looks at the flat tyre with a shake of his head. He hardly can wrap his mind about how it might have happened. Looking the tyre over, he can see no obvious signs that would lead to it being flat. He couldn't see any holes or anything sticking out that shouldn't be there. Looking back on the road from his spot he sees nothing that would lead to where they were now.

"That was a while ago, when we went to the garden. Who knows really. The only option at this point is to change the tyre. We do have a spare left, yes?" Alexis quirks a brow somewhat as he looks at their flat and shakes his head.

"We do but that will require getting the desk out of the car. It's under the bottom panel." He smiles sheepishly and shrugs, moving towards the back of the van to open up the doors. He knows that it hardly is his fault that the tyre has blown out the way it has or that they have to take the desk out but he feels partly to blame for reasons he cannot wrap his mind around.

"Let's pull the desk up to the side between the fencing and the car, that way if someone else drives on by, no chances of gravel kicking up and hitting it."

Eoghan nods and slowly they untie the desk and carefully pull it out of the van, manoeuvring it to settle it between said van and the fence. Its safest spot while they see about changing the flat.

With the desk out of the way, Alexis goes about getting the tyre from the bottom panel and Eoghan leaves him be. They both know how to take care of this but Eoghan has less patience when it comes to that kind of thing. They both know it is easier to simply let Alexis take the lead and do the job than argue about who might do it better or faster.

While Alexis works on the tyre, Eoghan merely keeps watch. The road they are on is slight and does not cross well between two cars. They've moved as close to the fence as they can but it might still be a tight fit if someone drives on by too quickly. Not a single car comes their way until the bolts are being tightened on the new tyre.

An old sort of car drives up in the opposite direction and slows down next to them. The window rolls down and a somewhat older man peeks out, looking Eoghan over briefly as if trying to decide whether he should help or not. "You folks need some help?"

Eoghan looks back to Alexis as the old tyre is being put into the back panel and he shakes his head. "We're just about down, thank you for the offer!"

  


They drive back to the soft sound of a 'spa' radio station. Quiet music without any lyrics, nothing to grate on nerves and the AC still fully on while the windows are closed up and secure. Eoghan keeps half an eye on the desk as they start up again to make sure they tied it back up securely and he nods when he knows it is safe.

"Once we drop off the desk, I'll take the car into the garage so they can check the other tyres and the flat one just to make sure it's all right."

Eoghan shakes his head lightly as he looks ahead for a moment as their road changes from dirt to paved. "I know you have a few commissions set up for the next few days, I'll take it in tomorrow with a book to read while they do a check up. I don't understand what happened, all the tyres were fine when we set out. They still should have been when we drove back."

Alexis shrugs but chuckles softly as he takes them home. "Don't you dare feel bad that I had to be on my knees in the dirt for a while to change that tyre, Eoghan."

"I can't help it! I feel like this is my fault or something. It's the desk I wanted and we went and got it and we got a flat while getting that desk so I don't know, I feel like I'm to blame." He mumbles the word, the misery clear in his tone and Alexis can only laugh softly as he shakes his head.

"I swear Eoghan, you fret over the most meaningless of things most of the time. None of this is your fault. Who knows what we might have just run over while getting that desk or coming back from picking it up. It isn't your fault and you shouldn't be blaming yourself for any of it."

"But-"

"No buts, if you want to make up for it as I know it's crossing your mind, you can see about scrubbing my back and the rest of me when we're finally home. I'm sure I'm not all that dirty but you know, kneeling down in dirt and gravel is bad for my health." His tone is soft and amused but as he spares a glance to his passenger he can see Eoghan trying hard to not smile. The corner of his lips are twitching.

"All right, all right. A good, thorough back scrub for you when we get home, after the desk as been brought up. I think we'll have to take it up the stairs though, it might be too long to fit in the elevator. I'm sorry for that too."

"Honestly Eoghan, that desk is hardly heavy, it's just old. We handle it carefully and we'll have it up in our home in a matter of minutes. All that mock-strain is even more a reason for you to scrub away at my back and massage all those tense muscles."

"You win. I give in. I'm still going to feel bad about this, I can't help it."

"And I'm going to do all I can to make sure you forget about your worries and focus on things that are much, much more positive."


	18. Desk Lamp

It's ugly. In that oh-god-why-did-you-buy-this ugly. I don't know why he bought it. It's ugly as can be and I wish I could just never look at it again. However seeing as it is in his room and he seems to like it so much I have to look at it every time I look in on him in his room. It's hard to miss, sitting there on his desk. I wish I could know why he bought it at all. I'm not even sure if I should be telling him about how ugly it is since he seems to like it so much.

"Mira?" it's been hard enough to open up to anyone after my little blow up with Zora but she was pushing too far, talking about how our parents would have been sad that my room is a mess. At least at work at the library I don't have to spend too much time around him I can just focus on putting away the books and everything else.

I know he's only been trying to be helpful. He looks at me in that way that's just a little annoying because I know he wants to know what's wrong with me but I'm not ready to tell him yet.

He looks up from the book he's reading, sitting there at his desk and I try not to look at the lamp, I know my distaste for it would be clear as day on my face. "Yeah?"

I focus on him instead but I can't help but look at the lamp. It's—I'm not sure what it's supposed to be, honestly.

"I thought we could talk?" At least my voice sounds mostly normal to my ears and I can save myself from cringing if I'd sounding anything but normal. He nods and turns to face me but he doesn't move from his chair. I groan inwardly.

"I thought we could talk outside? It's nice out, not too humid yet. There's a breeze." My attempt is pathetic and I can't help it. His lamp bothers me though I now in time I might get used to it but not right now.

He shrugs and shakes his head though he does turn back to his book to close it and then he slips from his chair and he walks through his perfectly clean bedroom and out to me. I smile at him best I can but I know it's a weak sort of smile. This talk isn't even about how ugly that desk lamp is anyway.

  


"So what did you want to talk about?" He's settled next to me, we're just sitting side by side in the swinger. I look towards the building a moment then back at him. I suppose I'm building up my courage. I've never felt I needed courage to talk to him before but anything that has to do with our parents is a bit of a sensitive subject.

I breathe in, let it out and breathe in again. "That fight I had with Zora-"

His eyes light up as I murmur those particular words. I guess he's been waiting and hoping that I eventually talk to him about it. I manage a weak smile though it feels fake so I let it drop and he sighs in turn.

"The saddest part of that fight is that she was trying to get me to clean up my room but she brought up mom and dad, how they'd be sad that my room was always such a mess and that I was much cleaner when I was younger and I just lost it." I shrug and he looks at me a moment. I know he's not judging me but I still wait for his answer, not sure what to expect.

Instead of words, as it usually is with us, we work better with actions, he hugs me. I shift my weight and I press against him, I hide my face against his shoulder and I feel the ache and sorrow of the loss of our parents wash over me all over again. We might have been too young to really realize when we were swept away by Zora to the safety of elsewhere but when I think about it now it hurts so much that I don't know what to do with myself. We lost our parents when we didn't even really understand how important they were to us. 

The hot wetness of tears travel down my face and suddenly I'm realizing that I'm crying and I'm crying hard. My shoulders shake, the air has to battle the rest of me to get into my lungs and all Mira is doing is holding me. It's all he can do after all and I'm grateful for his presence.

I've always thought I was the strongest of the two of us. I protected him after he was molested though I wish I could have protected him from it as a whole. But now he's just holding me, a strong wall of confidence and I just cry away all the sorrow I've gathered over the last years of my life since we've lost our parents.

One of these days he might have this break down too and I'll do all I can to be there for him. It's all I can promise myself.

I don't know how much time pass before the tears finally stop though it takes a long enough time. My lungs ache from all the crying and I just ache everywhere and I can't begin to imagine how Mira might ache from how tightly I've held onto him while I had myself my little break down.

When I pull away from him, he only smiles at me, that warm, adoring smile that he's only ever had for me. I manage the hint of a smile myself and he wipes what's left of the tears from my cheeks.

Shakily I pull myself to my feet and I offer him my hands, he takes them and pulls himself up. We head back inside without much of a word.

It's when we're in the hallway between our two rooms that he stops me. He looks towards his door then mine and an amused sort of smile creeps up to his lips, I have to wonder why.

"So you hate my desk lamp that bad, huh?"

I don't know if I can hide the surprise from my face so I can only blink at his question, wondering where it comes from. "I guess it looks a little weird?"

"To be honest, I don't know what I was thinking when I bought it. I needed a lamp for my desk and it was there. I think I wanted another one but this one was closer, laziness on my part."

A soft laugh bubbles up to the surface and I shake my head a little. "We could go out tomorrow after work and see about getting the both of us better desk lamps, if you want?"

He nods and smiles. Again he just hugs me to himself and I close my eyes, hugging back as tightly as I can muster. I need him in my life the way he needs me, it's just that simple. I don't know that I could survive anything the world throws at me if he's not with me in some way. I need to cherish him to the end of the world, even when I know he's bound to find someone to love. I know I might too but I'm in no rush for that, we've got plenty of time.

"You want some help cleaning up your room?" 

Again I blink at him and I look towards my door and I can't help the slightly sheepish smile that finds my lip. I shrug lightly but I nod just barely a few moments later. "I guess I could do with a little help. Thanks, Mira."

"You're my brother, I'm not going anywhere without you."


	19. Total Silence

I didn't want to believe him when he told me that a session spent in an isolation tank would do me some good. I didn't really want to believe. I can understand that being in a soundproof tank, floating in salt water that's at body temperature can lead to I'm not sure what but seeing as I care little for swimming, I was uncomfortable with the idea. Leave it to Eoghan to be able to convince me to try this. I'm rather glad he did talk me into it at this point.

On the morning of the appointment, I was jittery, I didn't know what to do with myself so I washed my breakfast dishes three times over and I paced my apartment until he came knocking on my door. Of course I needed someone to drive me there and back after all. He came in, all smiles and almost bubbling, said he had a session at the same time I did so we'd be in, more than likely, side by side tanks. I suppose it helped to calm me at least just a little. It was better than the idea I'd had that I'd be all alone in this tank with no one around and that someone might just forget I existed. It was a possibility!

The drive in the car was quiet both in spoken words and in mind ones. I know Eoghan's presence always helps to diminish even further the presence of the voices in my head and I'm grateful for that. Though since he's taught me about the water-surroundings, even the murmurs are nearly down to none. Some still get by now and again but nearly not as much as it has been since I was given the bracelet I wear without ever taking off unless I'm working on strengthening my mind barriers.

He pulls up into a building that looks a little out of place along the somewhat older looks of the other buildings. This one looks new, it looks modern but not too much. It's nice to look at I guess, a clean, bright surface and no real sharp angles, everything looks a little rounded.

Even when we step inside everything seems to retain its rounded edge. The desks, the lamps, the way the walls curve into the ceiling. It's so strange but not in a bad way. It's a curious sort of sight.

We're lead into a small changing chamber where we're told to put our clothes into our respective lockers and to wrap ourselves up in the towels that have been left for us to use. I'd briefly forgotten that in some cases, the use of these tanks is done absolutely naked. I don't know if I should feel self-conscious or not. 

It takes Eoghan only a few minutes to change from his clothes to the towel, it takes me a bit more time as I fumble somewhat. I'm not used to changing with someone else in the room. He doesn't turn however, he keeps his back to me to still let me have my privacy and for that I'm thankful.

Eventually, someone comes to lead us to our respective tanks. It's a small room, it has four tanks set along one of the walls. I look at mine and then I look at Eoghan. I know I don't even have to mention it or even think about it. I can't get in there on my own. He smiles at me and makes sure his towel is securely tucked about his waist before he steps closer. I leave my crutch against the wall and he helps me into the tank. 

Once I'm partly standing there, I take off the towel, my cheeks deeply pink and he takes it from me with a warm and comforting smile. I carefully settle down and close my eyes to not see the door being latched shut behind me though it's easy to tell for how quiet and dark things suddenly are.

  


I don't know how long I spend there, floating on my back, actually tense and afraid something might jump out of the dark to try to maim me though I know I eventually begin to relax and I know my mind realizes that everything is absolutely quiet. I can hear nothing at all. I figure it must mostly be the bracelet but out of curiosity I take it off, I let me mind be free and there's nothing. It's absolutely silent. A startled sob escapes me, relief perhaps to be in such perfect silence. Still I put the bracelet back on since I don't want to lose it in the water and I finally close my eyes, or at least I think I do, it's so dark I can't tell if they were opened or not.

My mind begins to drift away to meaningless moments of my life as I let the dark and silence fill me in utterly. I never expected that it would be something quite like this when I first stepped into this room and into this tank. It almost makes me want to see about how I might get me one of these home but I figure it might be more expensive than I could ever dream of it being and I don't know how smart it might be to want to spend some time in this place every day.

I feel so good, though.

  


When light begins to filter through the slowly opening doorway, I squint, trying to let my eyes adjust to the dim lighting that feels too bright for me. I can only make out the shape of someone by the opening and I blink again. I don't know how much time I need for my eyes to adjust but eventually I can make out Eoghan smiling down at me, he looks somewhat amused.

With some help, I get back out of the tank, not feeling quite so self-conscious as I had when I got in. I wrap my towel about my waist when it is handed to me and I simply continue to lean against Eoghan instead of reaching for my crutch.

"How do you feel?" His voice is soft but I feel almost as if it resonates into my mind after the silence of the tank. I cant my head to the side lightly and then slowly turn to look towards the tank before I look back up to him. 

"Surprisingly pleased. It was so quiet in there, even without the bracelet."

His smile warms and he carefully walks me to my crutch. As we head back into the changing room he tells me we've only been in the tanks for about an hour. It felt so much longer, I'm surprised really. I shake my head and chuckle softly at the thought. Getting dressed doesn't take as much time as getting undressed required. I feel much more at peace with everything that surrounds me and I don't feel as self-conscious about myself as I usually do.

We walk back to the car in shared silence. I hear vague little murmurs in my mind but I'm so used to those that I ignore them automatically. He opens my door for me and I blink up at him with a slight blush to my cheeks. He only grins at me and I roll my eyes as I settle into the car.

"Thank you for talking me into doing this, Eoghan. After a while I was telling myself I could look into getting one for the apartment but I don't know about that. It was a nice experience though."

"You're welcome. I thought you might appreciate how quiet it is in there. When I first discovered these isolation tanks I didn't want to believe but my mind was swayed rather readily after I'd tried one of the earlier models. It's a good life experience. Now how about we stop somewhere for a bit of a snack?"

My stomach rumbles as if to tell me it hasn't been fed in some time and I smile sheepishly. "That sounds like a plan."


	20. An ID Bracelet

I don't know why it took me so long to get this done and on my wrist. I suppose it is the sight of Alexis's bracelet on my other wrist or the fact that for some reason I had an attack while at the library just last week and when they asked me if I had any allergies I couldn't tell them. I honestly didn't know.

I spent the next day, almost all of it, with a specialist, on Eoghan's request because he was so worried about me, testing this and that, pinpointing out a few of the allergies I did have. Most of them had nothing with my daily life but they had plenty to do with any time I might spend in the hospital. I was in there so much as a child that I would have thought they'd still have some kind of file on me though it has been quite a few years so probably not.

Maybe medicine changed so much since I last was in the hospital that most of my file is useless to them. I don't know and I guess it doesn't really matter. At this point I have this shiny little bracelet on my wrist and on it, there's the info about what I'm allergic to and what might just kill me. I can't help but think it's a bad idea. Someone could have a look at that and think 'oh, hey I could kill this guy with that' and just end my life. I guess I'm just being my usual melodramatic self.

"There is nothing melodramatic about you, Armin." I almost jump, startled and I turn to Eoghan as he stands in the little doorway that leads out to the yard. I've been sitting on the swinger for the past half hour, just relaxing and trying to enjoy the rest of my day despite this uncomfortably sticky heat.

"You're not supposed to poke around in my head." My words are low but with a hint of amusement, I know these were more than likely very much surface thoughts and who knows I might have been thinking about them so hard that he didn't even have to try to pick them up, he just did.

"No one is going to just look at your wrist and decide to pick one of these medications might just be useful in killing you, Armin. Honestly at times I wonder what's going on in that brain of yours."

"Let's see. Chaos, a bit more chaos, some book knowledge, the nearly faded whispers of everyone in the vicinity, morbid thoughts about this or that, I could go on?" He rolls his eyes, obviously amused at my poor attempt at humour.

He steps outside, closes the door and moves to settle next to me in the swinger. I feel his weight settle and we swing gently. My legs barely brush the ground when I'm sitting on this thing, I'm not sure why I sit in it at all since I like making sure my feet are on the ground. I trust him, I guess is it.

"You do know that I only did call in that specialist because I was worried about you, right? I've seen someone pretty much die in their arms because that person didn't know about their allergies and one drop of the stuff, boom, lungs collapsed, they couldn't get them inflated again."

"I know, Eoghan. At times I still just feel a little detached. I spent a lot of my childhood years in the hospital and I don't remember them ever really asking me about any allergies. I guess things were different then."

"You're not that old."

  


We move to step back inside long before the sun begins to set. In the middle of summer this way, it sets late and it is more my stomach over anything else that reminds us we've spent enough time outside just talking about this and that. Most of it was nonsense, how's the weather discussions and I can appreciate that after spending years on my own not really talking to anyone.

Eoghan keeps the swinger from moving at all to help me get up and I do. Once I'm on my feet I reach for the crutch and I slip it over my arm. We walk side by side towards the back door that would lead us back in but I take the door that leads me directly back to my apartment. He pauses behind me and I simply invite him in. One way or another he'll get back up to his apartment without an issue.

I know he likes to look in on me now and again, have a look around the apartment to make sure I'm doing all right. It's so strange to have someone around who cares this much still. I'm slowly wrapping my mind around it but at times I still can't really understand it.

I walk him towards the main door leading into the hallway, the silence is quiet and companionable. He steps outside and bids me a good evening before reminding me that he'll see me in a couple more days on our usual gathering of dinner and movie.

That idea, too, is still very foreign but it's interesting to be up there with these people, getting to know them a little better. Mira seems to really like spending time with me, it baffles me. Agni is outgoing and all smiles. Their sister Zora is a little more closed in but I've seen her smile now and again, she's quite pretty. Yael is an artist, I can tell that much just by looking at him and by the way his eyes light up when they talk about a certain subject. I'm a bit in the dark about Quentin, we've met a few times already but he doesn't talk much about whatever it is he might do. He and Yael seem absolutely close however and I'm happy for them. Alexis is a towering bulk of surprising gentleness. I admit I was rather afraid of him when I first met him but that has melted away to nothing. Eoghan is Eoghan. He's almost too friendly for his own good but it does me a world of good so I can't complain.

  


My bed awaits me with open arms. At least that's the way I see it, the pillows are set just so, the sheets are pulled back. I do mostly make my bed up in the morning but I fail to really see the point so I just straighten the sheets and the pillows, leaving it clean but ready to be eased into. I like to just flop into bed once I'm done with my day. It's an old habit, born of the time I spent with Andoni. He didn't care for making up the bed at all and I used to want to straighten everything to no end so we came up to this compromise. Not undone, not perfectly done up but clean and ready to be slept into.

I smile at the sight of the bed as the memory of the day I've had this discussion with him fills my mind. Most of my memories of him are good memories now. They used to hurt up until recently when I thought about them but now when they come back to the surface I just close my eyes and enjoy the ghost of his presence next to me for a few heartbeats. It reminds me of the good times and I know I've accepted his departure. It's so much easier now. I'm not feeling guilty over his death. I know it wasn't my fault, no matter what his family might try to get me to believe.

Undressing, I carefully put my clothes away for the night. I put my crutch down against the low chair I keep there to make sure it's not going anywhere and I crawl into bed, under the perfectly waiting sheets. I close my eyes and roll to my side to settle. This bed might be large but it's perfect for my life right now. Things are just right and even the soft warmth of the I.D. medical bracelet on my wrist won't take away from the fact that my life is going surprisingly well.


	21. Jumped the Fence

"He's going to break his neck." The words are murmured, the voice is low and hushed, uncertain and uncomfortable. Beside him, the other young man shakes his head, his eyes glued to the television as they watch a man who can be no older than their sister, jump his way around the side of buildings, over fences, posts and stairs. Over their shoulder, Eoghan stands, watching with a detached sort of look on his face. These stunts are nothing new in his life, not that he's ever tried them but he's seen them be tried first hand with poor results for most of the idiots who had ever given it a try without prior experience.

"It's called parkour. They runs around, jumping over this and that, catching themselves on the edge of places and climbing back over. In most cases, people tend to be safe because they don't push themselves beyond their limits but some people just go out there without any idea of what they're getting into and they get hurt in bad ways."

He pauses, looking down to the twins as they now look up to him. He manages the hint of a smile but he shakes his head. "I know you two are in your discovery phase but for all that it is worth in this world, don't try this out, it will only end in tears. I'm not saying you wouldn't be able to but it's easier to learn from someone who really knows what they're doing and I don't think any single one of us here knows of anyone like that."

"It looks dangerous, I wouldn't want to break my neck anyway." Mira's words are mumbled, he looks back to the screen and shakes his head with a slight cringe, as if he's afraid for the guy on the screen.

"Thank you Mira. Agni?" Eoghan knows that of the two, Agni is the one more likely to try things that will push his physical prowess to the top and he really hopes this to not be one of them.

"I like my head attached to my neck." The teen shrugs but still looks at the screen and Eoghan shakes his head before mussing their hair gently. He steps away and leaves them to watching the television. He knows the teen could watch this kind of thing in their own apartment but he suspects that Zora might have blocked several channels off at this point, anything she might consider too extreme and a channel where there is nothing but extreme sports is rather extreme, he knows.

As he steps back and towards Adela's own room and setup, Alexis steps out and carefully closes and locks the door. He looks pleased with himself and Eoghan knows it always is a good sign. Then again he always looks pleased when he comes out of her area. "They still watching extreme sports, huh?"

"They're currently watching parkour. Mira looks to be somewhat mortified but Agni is fascinated and it scares me honestly." Eoghan shakes his head and looks back briefly though he can't see the teens or the screen.

"We could block the channel. It's not like we watch it ourselves at this point."

Nodding, Eoghan's shoulders sag lightly as he rubs his eyes. "I don't know why I didn't think of that."

"Because I'm the brain and you're the brawn."

"You're the brute everyone is afraid of, that makes you the brawn, despite that, you know, you're the law guy so I suppose that also makes you the brain and I guess that makes me useless." Crossing his arms, mock-hurt, Eoghan sticks his tongue out and huffs softly.

Chuckling, Alexis shakes his head and pulls his lover into a hug. "You're as much brain and brawn as I am but I also have more life experience so some things just come by easier, that's all. Once they head back down we'll go through the channels and see about blocking a few, all right?"

"M'kay."

  


"You're going to break your neck, Agni." Outside now in the sticky summer heat, barely a breeze drifting by to rustle the branches and leaves of the nearby tree. Mira sits by its trunk, as much in the shade as he can manage though it isn't much. He doesn't mind the sun, knows he can tan well enough but this is somewhat different, it's the heat he doesn't much care about.

Just a few feet away from him, his brother is standing over a few planks of woods that have been set out and placed in this and that way. He knows they should not watch extreme sports, there's a reason why their sister blocks the channels. He just thinks back on his slip down the hill and he shudders in memory. He closes his eyes and turns away from his brother.

"I'm not going to tell you a second time and if you break anything trying your crazy stunt ideas it's going to be your fault." His words are clearer now and Agni turns to face his brother with a curious look crossing his face.

"All this is, Mira, is a few planks of woods. I can hardly break my neck exercising with them."

"Exercising with them, my ass, Agni." In a huff, holding his by now perfectly healed arm to himself, Mira moves to his feet and walks away from his brother. He heads back into the shade of the building and settles into the swing with a shake of his head. He refuses to be responsible if his brother hurts himself.

For several long moments he hears nothing but after a little while, the sounds of the planks being pulled apart and dragged back to the shed come up to his ears, floating on the breeze. His shoulders sag and he closes his eyes, fighting back the need to cry. He knows he's the one who has a tendency for getting hurt, he knows that in the past he's the one who has been harmed at least twice now. He cannot begin to understand how it feels like to watch someone he cares about getting hurt and he has no desire to feel those emotions either.

He listens until all the sounds are quiet again and startles slightly when his brother settles on the swing next to him. He huffs and crosses his arms.

"Agni, you have to understand, you saw me getting hurt. I know I suppose I'm weak for not wanting to feel those emotions myself but try to understand, do you want me to panic and ache and feel guilty for I don't know how long if you fall and hurt yourself in some way while you try to imitate those folks?"

Shaking his head, Agni sighs and shrugs, he leans his shoulder against his brother's own and closes his eyes. "I just have an overabundance of energy and I don't know what to do with it."

"We could go up to the roof and swim. I know you're still trying to learn to better your technique so it could be a good way of using up that pent up energy." He sounds so hopeful as he looks at his brother, their faces so close.

Agni scrunches his nose lightly before he cants his head back to look up to the sky. "That water is bound to be pretty warm, not sure it's going to be refreshing."

"It's not about being refreshing, Agni, it's about your energy and how you need to get it out of your system. At least by swimming I know it's safer-"

"I could drown."

"You swim well enough to not drown and I'm there, there are floaters everywhere and I'd do all I can to get you out if you showed signs you were beginning to drown. Come on, please? It'll be fun, I know it will."

Grumbling but giving in, Agni shrugs again but he pulls away from his brother as he stands up. He holds his hand out to his sibling and Mira smiles at him brightly as he takes that hand and pulls himself up to his feet. He hugs his brother tightly, kissing his cheek in thanks before they start in on their way back inside and then up to the roof for their swim.


	22. A Joyous Moment

His birthday had come by and gone by, quietly celebrated between them. It was a date he had picked since he didn't know his exact birthdate but papers had required dates and it had been as close as he could recall to whatever that date had been on his papers when he had been in the orphanage.

Like him, Quentin didn't know when he was born though he also has no recollection of ever knowing when he might have ever been celebrated while growing up. Yael supposed that his lover had taken that one particular date because it was in the dead of summer, as far away from the coldness of winter as possible. It was a fine date by him.

Slipping out of bed had been a little difficult. Quentin had been holding on to him securely in his sleep but Yael had managed to ease free without waking the other. That had been part A of the plan. It wasn't an overly complex plan but it was all set out in his mind and he wanted to go through with it, it was important to him.

The week before he had spoken to Eoghan about asking Alexis if the man could manage a small birthday piece. It was mostly dark chocolate since anything else proved to be quite the sugar rush but it was slight. It was a decorative piece set atop the small cake he had prepared to bake the evening prior while Quentin had been out with Eoghan. The piece itself was a lovely little replica of a photo he had offered. It was so slight he had been afraid the request had been too much or the details would get lost but the details were more than a little amazing, he was grateful in ways he had no words for.

As he now stood in the kitchen, the cake brought out of its hiding place with its decorations and its slight hints of colours, he set out to prepare a simple enough breakfast. Eating too early in the morning was hard on them both, they digested poorly and were usually lethargic for the rest of the day.

He made sure the cake was secure in its box, knowing that with seven cats in the house, it could very well have itself an accident and he didn't want to chance that. Once that was done, he saw to preparing some freshly squeezed juices, oranges and grapefruits, both of those from his upstair garden.

After the fruit juice he merely cut up fruits and set those into bowls. Into Quentin's he added a bit of honey and cinnamon since that was how he liked his fruit bowls. His own he left untouched. Their tastes differed just enough to make their lives interesting and to make their meals wonderful when they worked together in the kitchen.

He set everything on a platter, juice, fruit bowls, the proper and necessary utensils and a couple of napkins before he took it all towards their bedroom. The sun was just beginning to show its face along the windows and he smiled lightly to himself. They had gone to bed early the night before after a fulfilling day so waking up this early was not all that uncommon. While their sleeping hours were more settled now, they still only slept until they were rested, they rarely lounged in bed.

As he walked towards their bedroom, he carefully stepped over three of their cats as they had decided to lounge in his way, just to see if they couldn't get themselves some freshly cut fruits. It wasn't all that unusual in their now-and-again diet. Finally at the door, he turned around to carefully back into the bedroom since both hands were busy.

Quentin was rubbing his eyes lightly, just barely settling into awareness and Yael smiled at the sight. He could have spent hours simply staring at his lover this way, he could hardly ever get enough.

As the door slipped shut behind him, Quentin turned his attention to the noise and canted his head at the sight.

"Happy birthday, love." The words murmured gently as Yael stepped to the bed and set the tray down carefully. Part B was in motion. Part C and D, respectively lunch and supper still were yet to come into motion but he was in no rush, they would get there when they did and then they would have cake.

"What's this?" Quentin's voice a little husky still from sleep. He looked down at the tray, surprise clear on his face as Yael simply settled next to him and smiled that ever so hauntingly beautiful smile.

"I wanted to make today special. I know it's more than likely not your real birthday, like mine isn't but we picked those dates and I can't help but want to make good memories." He speared a bit of fruit on one of the forks and offered it over with a chuckle, his smile brightening as it was taken without a fuss.

Quentin chewed and swallowed his bite of apple before he chuckled and shook his head. "Yael, ever single moment I get to spend with you is a wonderful moment though I admit this is very nice."

Yael leaned into the fingers of his lover as they rested to his cheek for a few moments. He could have had moments like these for the rest of his life and he would have been more than content with the world as a whole. It was all he had really wanted with his life.

  


The cake was received with an awed sort of look when they finally stepped out of their bedroom. Quentin made a note to thank Lex for the beautiful work that had gone into the decorative piece.

Most of the day was spent lounging, if not in their living room, it was in the pool, just floating on their mattress or up in the garden where they settled with the scents of near ever blooming flowers.

There were no gifts, at least no physical ones. There were plenty of small snacks shared throughout the day, there was a small piece of cake at lunch and more at supper. It was a day spent together in peace and quiet, enjoying one another's presence in the way that made it all the more meaningful. Quentin knew he could not have asked for anything else, it was the best of ways to spend that kind of day.

When evening settled and the moon rose high in the sky, as they were settled together in bed once more, relaxing together as they had done through their days, there was silence, a companionable, comfortable sort of silence.

Yael's head settled against Quentin's shoulder, always somewhat awkward looking for anyone who might peer in on them but it is the position they found most comfortable for them.

"Today was absolutely wonderful Yael, thank you." Quentin's words were low, barely more than a murmur as if to not break the gentle sway of the almost fairytale sensation of the rest of the day.

Against his shoulder, Yael smiled and brushed one of his hands over his lover's stomach as he settled a little closer still. This was as perfect as it could get. Their day had not gone much differently than the rest of their lives, except that they had done even less than they usually did. Not a bad thing, a day spent doing essentially nothing was necessary now and again for a good, happy and content sort of life.

"I wish I'd thought to do something like that for you." At those words from Quentin, Yael laughed softly and straightened up just barely, enough to look the other in the eye. He shook his head.

"Quentin, any moment I have with you I cherish, I just wanted to do something extra special for today."

"By extra special you mean by us being extra lazy."

Again, Yael laughed softly as he settled back, nuzzling against that shoulder with a pleased sort of sigh. "Something like that, yes. You can't say it was something to complain about though."

"Nope, not complaining one little bit."

"I'm glad."

"I love you."

"Love you too."


	23. Recovery from __________

Everything is hazy, I stare around and try to make out something that makes sense but everything is blurry and I can't wrap my mind around anything at all, I don't know what's wrong. I hear distant voices but I'm not sure if they're in my head or out of it. I wouldn't be surprised if they're in my head since that's normal but still.

I blink several times, still trying to clear up what I'm seeing and I still can't really make out anything of what surrounds me. I try to lift my arm and it won't move. I cant my head down to look at it but my head won't move either. That's a bit frightening, I'm used to my leg not really responding to me at times but this is different and it's making me uncomfortable.

Am I paralyzed? Did I somehow die and I don't remember what happened? I feel panic begin to swell in my heart but I try to squash it down.

"…in!"

I hear something again, it's faded and distant. I try to focus on it but I'm not sure where it came from. I close my eyes, that much I can do and I try to focus to see if I can't hear that one particular voice again.

"…min!"

There it is again. A little clearer but I'm still not sure what it is trying to stay. I close my eyes again and I try to focus, I try to take in what I can feel so I can try to sort out what's going on around me. I can't feel much, everything is distant but I can feel heat though there is an almost blast of colder air that comes my way every few seconds. I can feel something distant touching me. I think it's touching my forehead, checking my pulse, I'm not sure.

"Armin!"

There it is again. I gasp this time and my eyes fly open. Everything is still hazy but I can make out more shapes than I could before. I blink and again, slowly the shapes come into focus. I see Eoghan ahead of me and there is someone else behind him but I can't really make out who that might me.

"Armin, can you hear me?" His voice is lower now and I stare blankly at him for a second. I still can't really make out where I'm at. Whatever is beneath me is honestly a little hard. I lift my hand and rub my head lightly. Eoghan, above me, sighs in relief and I'm not sure why.

"Oh thank goodness you're all right."

I stare blankly still at him and I try to sit up but he keeps me gently pinned to wherever I'm at. I'm not all that comfortable here but that little motion of trying to get up made me dizzy so I guess I'll stick to where I'm at.

"You weren't coming up for supper so we were starting to worry. Lex said that maybe you weren't feeling so well so you'd decided to skip but I know you would have called if that was the case. Your apartment is a furnace, Armin, why didn't you tell me your AC had died? I would have had it fixed."

I stare at him blankly for a moment more as I try to make sense of what he's saying. It is slowly coming back to me now though most of it is still muddled. I hadn't really realized the AC had died until I'd come back from a long day spent outside in the shade, just reading. All the windows are closed, the curtains are sheer in most rooms so the afternoon sun really shines down hard.

I guess I made it as far as my bedroom before I what, I fainted? That might explain why my head is hurting and why I seem to be on the floor. I might have made it to my bedroom but not my bed.

  


When Eoghan deems me well enough and recovered from my faint and fall, he slowly helps me get up. Over his shoulder I finally notice Mira seeming to fret a little by himself a few paces away. I smile at him lightly to let him know I'm all right and he smiles back, a slight, uncertain sort of smile.

"You guys didn't cut your supper short because of this, did you?" My voice is rough and I have to force myself to swallow a few times to try to get it to come out any differently. I guess my apartment really did turn into a furnace over the course of the day. I chance a glance back and I see a small fan plugged into the wall. That explains the breeze I was feeling.

"We just didn't start yet."

I try to look at the clock but it's too far from me and I can't make out the numbers. From the almost painful rumble in my stomach I can tell it more than likely is some time past the usual food time and I sigh. "Well since you're not really letting me go anywhere on my own, maybe you'd like to help me up top so we can all get some food in our stomachs?"

He looks at me for a moment, his gaze is clear, he thinks I've lost my mind. I only smile at him lightly and manage a faint chuckle. "Eoghan, my head is killing me, my stomach is telling me it's long past its usual feeding time and while I feel a little bit like I'm swimming, don't you think that I'd be better off outside of this furnace?"

He sighs but caves in. He nods somewhat and it is Mira who comes to my side with my crutch. I smile at him warmly and set it on my arm. I know they won't let me go anywhere on my own and they both stay close to my side as we slowly walk out of my apartment and into the hallway where the air feels much clearer, fresher.

"I'll call someone to repair the AC though it might only be done tomorrow. You can sleep in our guest room for tonight. I'll come back and I'll riffle through your dressers to find you something to wear." He winks at me and I roll my eyes.

I keep to my feet well enough as we walk up and towards the elevator. At least for once I'm grateful for that. I can usually manage the stairs well enough but at this very point I don't much feel that I have the strength at all for them. My head still seems intent on spinning slightly after every few steps.

Once in the elevator, as he closes the decorated and protective metal doors, I lean slightly against him. He stands tall and still, letting me rest my weight against his side for the duration of our short ride up to the third floor where Mira is the first one to get off. He almost prances towards the door and pulls it open. He even holds it open for us to step through though it would have stayed open on its own.

As we walk past him, I murmur a gentle thank you to him and he smiles though he still looks a little worried about me. I guess I can't blame him though I feel bad for worrying him and delaying the usual meal. I don't know that I'll stick around for the movie following the meal but I know I need to eat.

Eoghan helps me down into my usual seat and I offer quiet apologies all around the table for delaying the meal. Eoghan shakes his head and explains that my AC has up and died and I just hadn't noticed until it was too late. There are quiet murmurs all around the tables, some on how they're glad I'm all right, others how they're starving (Agni that, though he means no harm) and the meal is finally served.

There is no extra tension around the table because of my delays or my little incident, the meal is shared in good humour and company as usual. I skip out on dessert and on the movie. Alexis makes sure I make it comfortably into the guest room while Eoghan disappears back downstairs into my apartment to look for clothes I can wear in the morning. I would have been fine with what I have now but I guess that's just how he is, I can't blame him for it.

I know I'll sleep fine up here for one night. I suppose I'm just glad someone did come to find me because I cooked away in my apartment, less than conscious enough to even realize what was happening.


	24. A Working Relationship

When I first had this idea that the twins could come and help me at the library, I didn't know how things would turn out. It turned out to go much better than I had expected and I suppose that's for the better. The library now runs much better than I had ever managed before on my own and I'm more than grateful for that.

I know that Agni does the work because he know it's better than doing nothing at all. He seems to be the type who might prefer to spend time outside but he's divided between that and being with his brother. I know they grew up close, inseparable though now they are slowly growing apart but not in a bad way. I'm learning a little more about them each day.

Mira has a growing love for book that makes me appreciate his presence more and more. He's young, he has a bright mind, he could do anything he'd want at all but he asks to help in the library, he asks to learn more about this and that and it's warming to know that someone out there is willing to learn more about these kind of things.

At times I think he might honestly be somewhat infatuated with me but I know it's just because I'm there every day we work together. I teach him new things, I help him learn facts he didn't know. It's a good relationship, one based around work. It helps that he doesn't judge me for how I look or how I move a little slower than the norm. He never really runs up ahead of me and then slows down to wait for me like Agni does. He stays at me side, walks at my pace and he tends to offer to push the book cart whenever he can. He's a kind soul, whoever he opens his heart to will be cherished to the end of the world.

He's been hovering a little since my fainting episode last Friday. I suppose I don't blame him though I feel bad for worrying him about this. He makes sure that I don't work too hard and that I only do what I'm comfortable doing. He honestly hasn't let me put any books back where they belong since this morning and I'm amused. In a few days, if he still keeps up I might gently remind him that I'm okay and that I can do my work well but for now I can't bring myself to tell him that. He's working so hard to be useful.

Agni looks at me as if I might be trying to take his brother away from him but that is furthest from the truth. At this point in time, though they have two very different views on the world, I don't think anyone could step between these two and separate them in any way. At least not in any way that might the permanent.

  


I call them both down to the front desk after we've had a short lunch and I show them the new boxes of books we've received. Mira's eyes brighten and I chuckle. Agni pouts lightly but I can see that he's trying not to smile. While he might prefer being outside, I know he actually rather likes this job since it gets him out of the house and he can discover new things every day. He just would rather not admit to it if he can help it. At least, that's also what I pick up on those surface thoughts that are unguarded by their mind. I don't dig, that's impolite.

It isn't long before they get on to the task of pulling the books out of the boxes, tagging them, putting up the sticker with the bar code and scanning them into the system. I leave that to them since I know they'll manage just fine on their own and I go back to the main desk to help out anyone who might want information or who might want to take out a book or return one.

Most of the days seem to mostly blend together now. I'm not struggling to get through my days, unable to really finish one task or another. It's been so long since things have gone this well that at times I have to pinch myself to make sure I'm not imagining it all. Though I suppose blend isn't really a word I should be using. None of the days are the same, the motions are similar but there are new things happening every day. If it isn't someone returning a book in poor shape, it's someone else bringing back a book they'd forgotten they'd taken out or it's someone else trying to take out more books than the library allows. They're small little things but it makes things interesting.

With summer beating down on us, I would have honestly thought the twins might have preferred to spend time outside but the days are so hot that I don't blame them for wanting to stay inside where it is cooler. It's one of the things people tend to do. A lot come in, find a book in the shelves and settle along the seaters somewhere and they just read their day away. Some will come in the morning, read for a while and leave for lunch, others will come in the afternoon. I've seen a few who stayed all day though I've had to remind them that they had to eat their food outside the building. I don't mind keeping their books temporarily under the counter until they come back. So long as it's under twenty-four hours. Anything longer and the books go back to the shelves.

  


Every other week or so, when we close for the day, I offer the twins a meal at one of the nearby establishments. It usually turns out to be little more than sandwiches or salads but neither one of them complains. Mira is always more than willingly while Agni feigns giving it a thought to not seem as though he accepts too readily. I'm not boasting when I know that Mira adores me, I can see it in his eyes and I can pick it up in his surface thoughts. Agni likes me well enough but there still are days when he's not really sure what to make of me. I don't blame him for that, I suppose I can be a complex individual.

Tonight is shared-dinner time and we head off to one of the small in-the-wall places we rather all like. They offer several different kind of easy eaten meals. Sandwiches, salads (pasta, potato, coleslaw amongst many others), cookies, slight dessert, usually donuts. I try to eat something different every time, it gives me a chance to try something new. Agni tends to stick to one of his favourites most of the time but I know Mira has persuaded him to try different things now and again.

We three, we work well together. I'm glad I met them. I'm glad, in a way, that they ran me over when they did that first time. They helped me up and apologized. It opened a doorway. I don't know how I would have taken to them otherwise if that hadn't happened. When I think back on it, I suppose someone out there might have had a hand in things, pulling little strings so that the world might work out in a good way. I don't really believe that things are set out ahead of us and that we can't change them but I do believe that some things do happen for a reason. It keeps me going. It makes thing interesting and it keeps me believing that not all is lost and that the world is a good place to be in.


	25. Show No Fear

"They can smell fear, you know." I whisper the words, so softly I think even I'd have to strain to hear them but he turns his head to stare at me, his eyes wide and filled with fear. I can't help but laugh softly and I shake my head. "You have to be fearless, fearless!" 

I can see the panic rise in him as he goes back to staring ahead at the flock of gulls standing in our way. I don't know who this kid is, I guess his mother is in the park and I don't know why I'm picking on him though I'm not really. I'm just teasing him. I suppose I should play nice because he might just develop a terrified view of these gulls if I keep up. I can't help it. I guess that without Mira to keep me toned down, I'm just an evil bastard.

Well, maybe not an evil bastard but I'm not above teasing a kid about how a pack of seagulls might eat him whole if he shows fear. I don't know why. He looks back my way again, his eyes are wide but I think the fear is starting to fade away, that's actually a good thing. I grin at him but I sit still on my bench. I guess he came my way because of my hair. I must stand out and I don't really care. It's natural this way and I'm not about to start dyeing it just so I can blend in. I'm my own person and no one can tell me otherwise.

His mother looks up from her own bench, she puts her book down and looks our way. I'll assume she's his mother, there's no one else looking our way. With a kid this young, I wouldn't bring a book to read while I'm at the park. Kids like this are bound to get into trouble and run around as if mindless that they can get hurt and parents need to keep an eye on them. She's not much of a parent in my eyes at this point.

A worried look crosses her face and I'm sure it's because of how I look, she probably thinks I'm a punk and I'm about to hurt her kid. She's on her feet, fast-walking my way and she sweeps her kid into her arms, earning a startled cry out of him and the seagulls take to the sky in turn in surprise. This, as a whole, gets the kid screaming again, in fear this time and I close my eyes with a soft snort.

"Don't you dare touch my boy!" Okay, now she's pushing it.

I open my eyes again and I look up at her calmly. She's staring down at me as if I'd molested her kid. Something I'd never do. It was done to Mira and I couldn't stop the man from doing that, it gives me nightmares on bad days.

"Lady, if I hadn't caught your kid's attention, he'd have run off into the street you were so busy reading your book. I'd suggest keeping a better eye on him next time."

I'm not in the mood to be lectured by parents who think they know better. I get to my feet and I stretch. As I start to walk away, I hear the kid go 'bye!' so I turn back and he's waving at me. I chuckle softly at the shocked look on his mother's face and I just keep walking.

  


"You're in one of those moods, what happened?" Once I got home, I went straight up to the roof. I was expecting Mira and I found him without much of an issue. In our afternoons after work, when the library closes early, he tends to come up to the pool to swim. Most of the time I stay down to just lounge in the shade but today I stayed back and just sat in the park. I know we're drifting apart, Mira and me. Not in a bad way, we're growing up, that's all.

I shrug as I pull my shirt over my head and off. I take off my shoes and sit on the edge of the water with my legs in. I don't really want to get my shorts wet though I know they would dry pretty quickly. I just don't feel like swimming.

"I stayed back at the park after we left the library."

"Yeah, I thought you were looking to buy something." He splashes at me lightly and I just smile down at him.

"Nah, I just sat at the park. After a while, I guess this woman and her kid come around to play. She settles on a bench and almost immediately pulls out a book. I don't think that kid was more than four or five, you don't leave a kid that young without supervision. He came my way and nearly walked past me and into the street so I called out to him. There was a bunch of gulls between him and the street and I told him they could smell fear, he froze." 

I pause there and Mira quirks a brow, moving closer to rest against the side of the pool lightly so he can look up at me while I tell my mock-sordid tale.

"So at least I'm keeping him there, away from the street without even touching him. His mother suddenly realizes he's not in the playground itself and she comes sweeping him up. Of course he's surprised, he screams, that scares the gulls, they take off flying and that scares him so he screams again. She told me not to touch her boy and I pretty much just told her she should keep a better eye on him if she didn't want him running into the street. I left."

I shrug again and Mira blinks and frowns, he shakes his head. "Some parents think they're parents only because they've given birth to their children. Mira's been more of a parent to us than our real parents though the reasons are different, I know. But at least she kept us safe, kept an eye on us and made sure we were well. If that woman wanted to read a book she should have just let him play in their house or in their yard or somewhere that was safer than a park without any fencing around."

He sees things the way I do. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one who thinks that some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids. I know I shouldn't judge her, I bet she's probably a great mom most of the time but what I saw of her today made me doubt that she could be a good mother at all.

If I hadn't been there at that moment, her kid could have run straight into the street and there is a pretty big amount of traffic going on in that place and I don't know if the drivers could have stopped in time to not hit him. I'm not considering myself a saviour here, I'm just thinking that some things are better kept for the home, like books. If you want to read a book, either do it when you're on your own or around others but not when you've got a kid around with you.

Mira splashes me again and I blink down at him. I reach out and brush some wet hair from his face. He smiles at me warmly and shifts his arms to settle them on me instead of on the pool side.

"We're going to be together for a long time, right? I mean, I know we've been sort of drifting apart but we'll never really go out absolute separate ways forever, yes?" He sounds so worried, it hurts to think that he worries about these things. I wish he wouldn't. There might be a time when we'll go our separate ways but I don't think we'll go very far.

"Mira, you're my brother. We're twins. I think that all twins, triplets, quadruplets and so on all have one soul shared between the others. That or they each have their souls but it is incomplete if they do not have their brothers or sisters in their lives. You're half of my soul. We might go our own ways eventually but I know we'll never really be apart. Not in any way that might make it seem as though we've never been together in this way. Don't worry, okay?"

He nods and shifts his weight again. I move down and I pull him up against me, nearly completely out of the water and I hug him tightly to myself. He sighs, a soft, content little sigh and he kisses me cheek with a smile. I release him carefully back into the water.

"Go on and get back to swimming, you fish." He sticks his tongue out and disappears back under the water. I feel better already.


	26. Under Control

I really shouldn't be finding this situation amusing but I can't help myself. He keeps on saying he has it under control but I just know that's not the case. He's just not wanting any help but it's hard to resist. I'm mostly amused by the sight that greets me every time I step towards his work room. Note to myself, install a door to his work room just like the one I have up at the top of the stairs that lead into the garden. A split wooden door where bottom and top can be open separately and a screen door. That way he can have the top part open but still not have any visit from the cat-kind where they can make a mess of his room as they've done just now.

"Are you sure I can't help you, Quentin?" I'm amazed at how well I can keep the amusement out of my voice. My studio is scared, I'm the only one who gets to clean it when a mess gets made. I don't really want him to help me in those cases because I know where everything goes. In the case of his working room, it's more or less brand new. It was one of those rooms we still hadn't found a use for, we still have a couple of those. He recently found an old loom and oh it called to him so we got it. It took us a couple of hours to set it up but once it was set up it was like he was a new Quentin.

He looks at me from the tangled mess of yarn and string and he sighs but he still manages to smile just slightly. "Have it all under control, I'm almost done."

I guess he is almost done, the mess was much bigger than this fifteen minutes ago. "I thought we could install doors similar to the ones I have to get into the garden, would that be all right?"

He blinks once from his mess and stops the gentle tugging he was doing at one particular line. He's considering the offer as it is. He nods and goes back to his tugging and that's all the answer I need. 

I close the door again to leave him to his untangling and I shake my head. Cats and threads, I'm not really surprised in the end but I guess it is a lesson learned. I don't know who left the door open as is. I was pretty sure it was closed after we'd finished setting the loom up but we were wrong. I'm more than a little certain it won't happen again. Lesson very much learned.

  


It is nearly noon when he joins me again. In the back of the house I hear the sound of that one particular door click shut and locked. For now I guess it is safer. We'll get the doors delivered in a few more days and set those up. Then he'll be able to work in his room without having to worry about being interrupted by any sudden cat attacks. These guys really love their yarn. 

We try to keep them busy with all the toys, towers and wall-shelves but at times I guess it just isn't enough. I play with them every day, it's a bit of a routine. I first take care of the garden, then I wash up as need be to get most of the dirt off of me as it might be. Then I head into their room and I get them running. The cat patio we had planned was delayed but I'm going to bring it back up to the surface. It would get them outside as they might want with no real way of escaping. All of them still have their claws but we're worried about what might get to them outside in the woods.

His hair is a mess when he drops to sit at the table and I chuckle gently before excusing myself and wandering off to our room to snag my brush. I don't like the way his works and I feel like I'm always tugging on knots when all I'm trying to do is brush his hair through.

When I settle behind him and gently set the brush to his hair, he sighs and closes his eyes. "I was thinking, we could see about getting that cat patio set up outside. We were thinking about it when it was still just Areli and Lavi but we got sidetracked with a lot of different things. We could bring the plans back out, make sure it's big enough for all of them and talk to Eoghan, he probably knows someone who could get it set up without too much of a problem."

He nods, just a small little thing since I'm brushing his hair but I know that's a 'yes' so I put a little mind-note on the idea and I continue running the brush smoothly through his hair. When I come to a tangle I undo it slowly and carefully. Before too long his hair is as tangle free as it will ever be. I put the brush down and wrap my arms about his shoulders, my cheek resting on top of his head.

A few murmured words escape him, they're so soft I can't make out what he's saying but it doesn't much matter. He's relaxing against me and that's the point of this all. I want him as relaxed as possible. I know how frustrating it can be to untangle yarn and thread, even if it more than likely is part of your make. I did want to help him but he made it clear that he wanted to take care of it on his own. His weaving room is off limit to me and I understand that.

After several moments spent simply relaxing, I release him gently and I go to put the brush back into our bedroom where it belongs. When I come back, he's moved from his chair into the kitchen and I shoo him back to that chair while I prepare us a slight lunch. I'm pretty sure he must be close to starving right now and I can't have that.

A slight soup, a few crackers, some bites of saucisson to go with that and we're set. I could have gone for the simplest meal of tomato soup and grilled cheese but we've had that the day before and I try not to repeat meals too often.

He smiles at me when I set our meal down on the table and I settle next to him instead of across from him. It's easier to share our meals when we're side by side, even if it means that we can't gaze away at one another. I think it's sweet when it's in movies but it's inconvenient when you're really trying to share a meal. Reaching out across the table to feed someone some food when there are chances that you might drop that food is just sort of sad.

Usually he'll sit at the end of the table and I'll sit at an angle from him, it's our usual position but I don't know, today just seemed closer to a side by side thing. 

I can see slight bags under his eyes and I worry. I've been sleeping well enough lately and I tend to wake at the drop of a pin, I should have noticed if he wasn't sleeping well. I reach out slightly and brush his cheek. He looks up to me, an unspoken question in his eyes. I brush the pad of my thumb ever softly under his eyes with a soft frown but he only shakes his head lightly, leaning against my palm for a moment.

"I'm just tired. I was so excited about the loom when we were done setting it up that I've barely slept so it's my own fault, don't worry."

I nod and kiss his cheek. We don't lie to one another. At least, that's how I see things and I don't like to him and I believe that he doesn't like to me. I don't think it would do us much good if we were to do that anyway. "How about a nap after we've eaten a bit? I'll rub your back?"

Back rubs help him sleep more easily, I've learned. His eyes brighten up and I settle back to eat a little, share our food. If I can help him sleep then it's all the better, it gives me life a little bit more purpose.


	27. It Was Pink

I can't remember where this blanket came from. I don't remember either one of us ever having bought that. At least I don't recall ever buying it and I suppose Eoghan could have but it's not in his usual colour of choice. I mean we do have a few black things in the apartment but not that many. We have one set of bed sheets though it's rarely out and it's more for the dead of winter when it really is absolutely cold in the place. We haven't had to use them here in Dunkerque yet. This blanket though, I really don't remember having a black blanket in the house.

"Eoghan?" I know he's not far, I'm just not sure where he's at.

He comes out of the movie room and I quirk a brow. We're never really in that room unless it's for our weekly supper and movie, maybe he was looking something over. I hold up the black blanket and he blushes. Now I'm really curious but I wait until he's at my side to ask any questions. He rubs the back of his head and slows down before he's next to me. 

"Care to explain?" There is no accusation in my tone since I'm not actually accusing him of anything but if he blushes that way, there has to be a reason. He looks at the blanket and brushes his fingers over it lightly as if it will bring an answer to the question I've just asked him. Now he looks absolutely sheepish and my curiosity is piqued.

"That old, fluffy white blanket we've had, you remember?" Of course I remember, it used to sit at the foot of our bed, I've been wondering where it was the past couple of days.

"It ended up in the wash with our new burgundy bed sheets." He looks up at me, uncertain still but something clicks in my head and my eyes must light up because he ducks his head, cheeks deeper red still.

"I don't know how it ended up there, I guess I didn't look in the washer when I dropped in the sheets but it came out pink. It was pink and I know that's just not a colour we really have in this place and it was out of place and I didn't want to throw it out so I bought some black dye, I didn't know what other colours would work to cover the pink and I just dyed it black." He's almost out of breath explaining it all, as if he'd somehow broken an old china vase that had been worth more money than I cared about.

I shake my head and laugh softly. "It's my fault, the blanket was due a wash but I didn't want to wash it alone, it would have been a waste of water. I thought I'd find something else to put into the washer with it but then it slipped my mind altogether. I think it doesn't look too bad in black, it'll contrast with the bed sheets just the same as when it was white."

His shoulders sag and I laugh again, a soft, amused sort of sound. I'm not laughing at him, I'm laughing at the situation in general. "Honestly, Eoghan, as if I'd get mad at you for something like this?"

He grumbles a little and reaches for the blanket, hugging it to himself as if it was an armour to protect him from I don't know what. "Accidents happen, we're both to blame and there's nothing we can do about it now."

"It was your old blanket, we've had it for I don't know how long, I feel terrible for it. I know I should have told you when it happened but I was terrified of how you might react."

This gives me pause, I look down at him for a long moment, as if trying to see something I might have missed before. Has my behaviour, in any way, indicated that I might hurt him if something went wrong? It sends a chill down my spine that he might think I could hurt him for something like that.

"I've never hit you, Eoghan. I never will. I'm not like that and we both know it." I know my voice is a little strained but it's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that he seems to believe I could hurt him. It hurts.

"I'm sorry." He murmurs the words so softly I barely hear them. He hugs the blanket tighter to himself before his arms are around my waist and he's just holding onto me as if the world was about to end. I'm not sure what to think.

  


The blanket looks wonderful at the foot of the bed, even in black. It doesn't change how I feel about it. It's an old blanket, it's been with me for a while and that's all there really is to that one.

We've had a long talk about this whole afraid I'd hurt him thing. I still don't know where that fear came from but at least I think I made myself clear about how I felt. I have a hard time still wrapping my mind around the fact that somehow he thought I would hurt him. It makes no sense to me, none at all.

As we settle in bed, he huddles against my side and I can't help but think back to our beginnings. It was so long ago. I still was learning to control my gift for the better part when we first met. I had that bracelet my brother had made for me, that special stone but my gift still was slightly beyond my control on bad days. I know we have bad days when I first allowed him at my side but I never once raised my hand to harm him. I might have yelled, no, I know I yelled but I never once raised my hand.

I'll have to make it up to him somehow. Show him that I'll never let harm come to him, especially not if it comes from me. This blanket means a lot to me but not half as much as he does. If somehow the whole place had to be left behind, I'd leave the blanket behind but I'd do all I could to keep him with me. I'd even leave Adela behind if he was the only one I could save. I know he has a hard time believing that one, or he would if I told him.

I pull him closer to me and I close my eyes. I feel his breathing warm and steady against him but I know he's not asleep yet.

"Eoghan?"

He shifts just lightly, barely and he opens his eyes from his spot against my shoulder. I pull him closer still, as if I could somehow merge us together. Maybe that would be the best solution if it was possible at all. I turn my head and kiss his forehead since that is the closest part of him I can reach. He closes his eyes again and nuzzles my shoulder.

"I love you. You're the only true important part of my life. I don't know why you seem to be afraid that I'd react badly over this old blanket. I've had it for a while and it is important but nowhere near as important as you. If I could only have one thing near me to the end of time I'd pick you because you complete me."

He sniffles lightly against my shoulder and I sigh. My lips quirk just faintly and I just press another kiss to his forehead. I know he loves me. I know he adores me to no end and would do anything for me. I feel the same way about him, I just wish he wasn't afraid.


	28. Empty Calendar

"What are you doing?" He looks over my shoulder as I finish putting the last touches to this one particular page. Page six out of fourteen since I'm counting in the cover and the page where there will be last year's last three months, or this year's last three months since it'll go out next year and maybe the year after.

"Painting landscapes for a calendar?" I look up to him a moment with a quirked brow. I'd honestly expected him to be in his work room, doing whatever it is he does with that gorgeous loom we spent hours setting up. 

"Why are you in my studio?" The words are spoken with a gentle tease so he knows it's not an accusation. He knows I don't like to be bothered when I'm in here, much the same way he'd rather I not step into his weaving room at all. At times I do invite him in though it's usually so I can have him pose for me for a painting I'm doing.

He blinks, blushes and shrugs, a slightly awkward lift of his shoulders. "I guess I lost the habit, it's been so long since you spent more than just an hour or so in here since you couldn't draw anymore that I just, I don't know, I was wondering what you were doing." He pauses, "You're painting landscapes for a calendar in the middle of the year?"

Changing the subject is easy enough for him in these situations and I don't really blame him. I chuckle softly and I motion to the other five pages that are set out and mostly dry. "Yes, I'm painting landscapes for a calendar in the middle of the year. That way I can be sure I get them done in time for next year and I can send them in early."

"Anything in particular you'll be getting done in that calendar?" I know we'll have a couple in the house, just for the sake of things but I do ponder his question a moment. "Well, I know some people like to put little thoughts in their calendars or facts or just random bits of information but I don't really see the point. I don't mind if it has the moon phases on there but otherwise I think it should be empty like those cards you buy that are blank. Let people decide what they want to write in those squares."

He nods, kisses my temple and steps back out of the room, partially closing the door. I'm not sure if I'll paint another one today, this is my second one and I'm surprised at how well I managed to get it done. I know the block has been more than a little present lately but it has been 'melting' little by little every day. I've even managed to start working with the camera we bought. It's a lot to learn but it's fun.

  


"I didn't mean to disturb you, earlier." He looks sheepish as I step into the living room with a stretch. There are two cats at his feet, one next to him and one near his shoulder at the top of the couch. We always have to make sure we're looking where we're going to so don't walk on a wandering feline.

"You didn't. I'd already painted another one and two in a day is more than I've done in a long time so I'm just happy with the end results." I round the couch and I snag Coby up from next to him and settle down, plopping the cat gently down on my lap instead. He huffs but settles after a few moments of going around to make sure it was the most comfortable spot.

"What gave you the idea for a calendar?" I cant my head at his words and I look out towards one of the windows briefly. I'm honestly not sure, it just sort of came to me. I don't even know if anyone would want the calendar thought I could scan them all in high quality and set up that calendar myself on a website that allows that. I shrug lightly and lean my head on the back of the couch.

"I don't know. It's just one of those thoughts that crossed my mind. I could do it online, it'd be a bit more money coming in from my end of things and-"

"Yael, you're not seriously worrying about money, are you?" He turns to me and I straighten slightly. I know the smile on my lips is uncertain. He sighs and shakes his head. "We're not going to worry about money. I'm not worried. I know you want to do your part but you shouldn't have to worry at all. Most of the money you've made to this day has been set in an account for later on, it's just gathering extra money at this point and it's what is important."

I roll my eyes at him and grump gently. Leave it to him to make it seem so simple in the end. I know he's had to look after his money a little longer than me. After all, while I was on the streets all I could do was save it up best I could and hope I didn't get robed, then buy myself either some food, another blanket or more spray paint cans. I know my priorities weren't all that straight but at least I know that they were straight enough that I met him and that it led me to being here with him right now.

"All right, all right but I do worry. I know I don't have to but I feel like I'm not pulling my weight when I don't have at least some income coming in. With the cats and the house and the garden-"

"Yael, you take care of the garden, you keep us and the others supplied in most vegetables and fruits. I don't see how else you would have to pull your weight. This is more than plenty."

I sigh and shrug, dropping my head back to the top of the couch and I close my eyes. "Well, I'm still getting that calendar set up and you can do what you want with the money that comes in."

I know I'm being a little childish at this point but I can't help it. It's just one of those things. A tiny little part of me is afraid that our life as it is now will eventually come a screeching halt because I'm not doing enough and I'll be back in the streets. After living here with him, I don't know how I'd handle being in the streets. The thought scares me half to death.

He shifts next to me, I'm not sure what he's doing. Coby meows indignantly but jumps off my lap and Quentin's arms are about my waist. I almost squeak as he moves me from my spot and pulls me into his lap. I look down at him with a quirked brow but he only smiles that amused, 'I win' sort of smile. I roll my eyes at him again but I can't help the slight quirk of my lips. Doing things like these tend to make me mostly forget about my worries.

We're not usually spontaneous. Most of what we do is planned at least five minutes early (though that's about it, it's a case of: should we do this? Yeah, we should. And we do it.) Sure at times we've just dragged one another off without warning to this room or that to do something or other but it's not all that often that it has happened.

I sigh and nestle against him lightly. I shift my weight to be comfortable and he allows me the freedom of motion to get settled the way I want. At times it might seem awkward, I'm taller than him but I always end up in his lap, it's just how things are with us. We're comfortable this way.

"I'm sorry I fuss and fret about money, Quentin."

"All forgiven, now shush, cuddle and relax."

I'm more than happy to.


	29. Dowsing

His fingers curl around the stick loosely and he follows its lead as it seems to tip this way and that. Behind him, his brother follows in quiet curiosity, not daring to speak as if it would break the concentration he can see on his sibling's face. He has absolutely no idea what's going on. Part of him wishes they were back inside, the early evening heat still is oppressing and he would rather be inside if he could help it but he doesn't want to let his brother wander these woods alone.

After a long moment spent in silence, Agni rolls his eyes and sighs as he pauses and reaches out for his brother to get him to stop walking as well. "Mira, what are we doing?"

His words are low, whisper soft, as if anything else might still somehow manage to break the trance that they seem to be in. Mira blinks, almost startled and looks back to his brother. His eyes are wide but there is amusement there on his face. "I'm dowsing!"

His tone is clear and happy but his words still don't exactly answer his brother's question. The puzzled look on his face seems to prompt something clearer, something that makes more sense but Mira simply looks down to the stick in his hands as it stays still, not pointing in any particular direction.

"Mira, I have no idea what dowsing is, how about you shed some light?" Perhaps a little annoyed now that they're out in the woods in this heat when they could be inside where the air is so much fresher. 

Mira rolls his eyes and turns to face his brother. "I'm dowsing. I'm looking for underground water. This stick is pointing me in the right direction."

Agni takes a moment to digest the information before he's chuckling and shaking his head, clearly amused now that he somewhat understand where his brother is going with this idea. "Mira, you are water. I'm pretty sure that if this does work, which I'm not sure it does but I suppose it could, it'll lead us around in circles. You might not be 'underground water' but you're water and I'm pretty sure anyone else with one of these sticks-"

"Dowsing rod!"

"-dowsing rod would be pointing at you. Then they'd be all absolutely baffled and wouldn't know what to make of it. They'd believe something in wrong and go on their merry way. Plus, we know there's a body of water some distance off, if this rod isn't picking up on your inner water-gift, it'll lead us to the river and that's a long ways away. It's stick hot out, can we just please go back inside?"

Huffing, Mira looks hurt for several moments as he hugs his stick to himself. It is the motion he makes of wiping sweat from his brow that seems to pull him back to the surface of things and he scrunches his nose slightly. "All right, let's go back home."

  


Agni holds the door open for his brother as they step to the building. Both step inside, the stick left behind. Agni had left the subject alone while they walked back, not wanting to really anger his brother by asking constant questions and not allowing him to 'enjoy' his excursion into the world of dowsing.

"What gave you the idea of trying this dowsing thing?"

"What gave you the idea of trying this stupid parkour thing?" Mira snaps a little, his tone angry and Agni can only close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose gently.

"Okay, note made. You saw this on television and you wanted to try it. I'm not going to ask anything else. Just keep in mind that I didn't force you to come back. You decided to come back inside yourself because we were both sweating like pigs. You could have kept going. So don't you dare take your anger out on me." His words are soft but steady. There is no anger to them, merely a brotherly reminder of what he feels really did happen.

Mira sighs and his shoulders drop as they finish climbing the stairs to the second floor. "Sorry, I just thought it was sort of cool to watch people wander around with dowsing rods to find hidden underground water and I just thought it'd be cool."

"It's an interesting idea, Mira, it really is. It's just that today is so humid I think we could have melted if we'd stayed outside. Plus that whole fact that you are water yourself so I don't know how well you could have managed. I could try them in the house and see if they point to you or not? If they don't we could go outside in a couple of weeks when the heat might not be as bad and try again?"

His brother shrugs again as they step into their apartment where the air is so much cooler. Both shiver briefly from the difference in temperature. Agni steps forward, curling his arms about his brother and holding him to his chest for several long heartbeats. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad, Mira. You know that's now something I do intentionally. I was just worried that if I let you go out there alone in this temperature, you might not come back and when I went looking for you, I'd find you passed out from a heat stroke and then I don't know what I would have done."

Beneath the hold of his arms, Mira is tense though he relaxes little by little. Again he shrugs but his gaze is on the ground, as if one of his dreams had just been utterly shattered. Agni kisses his brother's cheek before releasing him but Mira does not step away. He turns and looks to his brother with those wide, confused sort of eyes. "I'm sorry-"

"No, no Mira. You have nothing to apologize for. I'm just saying. I worry about you and this heat is terrible. Even your adored mentor Armin told us we were better off staying inside when we got back."

Those words pull a deep blush to Mira's cheeks and he drops his gaze again, for a completely different reason this time. "I don't adore him. I just really like learning new things with him."

"Same thing." Agni teases gently, knowing he'd essentially found the perfect way to change the subject.

Mira sticks his tongue out and wipes some sweat from his temples with a softly disgusted sound. "The heat is pretty terrible, I guess I should be thankful that you dragged us back inside. I'm getting a shower. You can sit and wait and bathe in your own sweat while I do so."

"I guess I deserve that one, have a good shower." It is Agni's turn to stick his tongue out.

Mira disappears into his room to gather his things for his shower while Agni wanders off to his own to merely sit on his floor to cool down. He knows a wet washcloth would do him some good but he figures that he can be patient and wait for his brother to be done in the shower. He could use the second bathroom but they've realized that two using the showers at once cut down on the water pressure and it was less than pleasant, so they try not to, unless it is an absolute necessity.

It isn't long before Mira is out, feeling clean and refreshed, towelling his short hair dry. He knocks on Agni's door to let him know the bathroom is empty and he disappears into his own room.

The day didn't end quite as badly as it could have, Agni knows. His brother could have held a grudge of sort if he hadn't somehow managed to change the subject. It'll still be on his mind but not quite as much as it had been when they first stepped out into the summer's humid heat.


	30. Two Hens

So we've had our ghost rooster back in the colder months and now I think we're dealing with hens. They are not quite as ghostly as their male counterpart but they're still unexpected and somewhat annoying. The cats are out to try to get them every time they come close to the house. We don't know where they came from or why they're here at all. We don't exactly have anything to feed them with and we don't give them any inside food. I figure they'll leave before too long, that or the guys who are working on setting up the catio, the patio for the cats, will scare them off.

We hear them clucking every time we step outside, it almost sounds like a full hen house, I've seen one of those before while I was still wandering and trying to make me way here to France. We've still only seen two of them wandering around the grounds but at times we wonder if there are more. I wish we knew where they came from and who might be missing them.

During the night time, we try to leave some of the windows open since there's a bit of a breeze. It gives the AC a break and it cools down the house at least a little. It makes it comfortable. The moment the heat starts back up we close everything down, including the curtains. You can bet these hens have been clucking at night and the cats are all over the house trying to find them. It makes sleeping a little difficult but we do the best we can with what we have.

It's not like we can go out there and chase them down since we don't know where they came from. If we did know, I suppose we could round them up and call up whoever they belong to but at this point no one has seen any notices about lost hens. It's driving us batty.

I know it's more than likely mean of me to honestly hope that one of the wild animals we know roam the woods might come out and have a bit of a snack on them. That way we'd stop hearing them cluck about. Yael feels bad knowing that they're out in this heat but there's no way we're bringing these things inside. He works hard enough on the garden at this point that he doesn't need to get any ideas that maybe he should start having farm animals around. He'd work himself raw, we can't have that. He works hard enough already.

Currently, it's about three in the morning, there's a breeze flowing through the house from the open windows and all I hear is their clucking. That and the cats meowing to be let out to chase them around or at least see about knowing what the heck those things are. I wish it wasn't the case. I'm surprised Yael is asleep, he usually wakes up at the drop of a pin but he's been working extra hard in the garden these last couple of days, plus his painting, plus the top to bottom cleaning we've done since we realized it was needing done. He's exhausted, I'm glad for that.

  


Frustration got the better of me. At around four in the morning I went around and I closed the windows. The breeze was still cool and fresh but I couldn't take much more of the clucking and of the cats going around meowing, asking for their hunting licence. I closed the windows, pulled the curtains shut, closed the blinds. Everything will be dark and silent once Yael wakes up this morning and that's how I want it. 

I can manage without some sleep for a couple of days more, it wouldn't be a first. I know I'll more than likely look a bit like hell but that's just one of those things that can't be helped. It's a small price to pay to make sure he sleeps properly. I think I might see with Eoghan if he can't talk the twins into trying to catch these two birds. Maybe we can bring them into a pet shop of sorts. Though not sure they'd take them in. Though I've seen snakes and rabbits, frogs and lizards in there so I don't know why they wouldn't take in these two chickens. 

Maybe the animal protection service place. They might be more comfortable with taking these two. I mean, we're in a city that lives near a port. I don't believe that we have any farms in the surrounding areas and I figure that these birds haven't wandered that far and most certainly not from another city or in from the country. So really, someone must have lost them and the animal protection place might just be the best idea. 

I don't know why I didn't think about it until now.

  


When Yael wakes, he rolls to his side and he rubs his eyes, looking up to me. He frowns when he focuses on my face and I offer him a half-hearted smile. "I closed all the windows and curtains around four this morning, these hens just clucking away and the cats trying to find them and meowing away was getting to me. I thought we could see with Eoghan if the twins can't be persuaded to chase them down after their work day so we can bring them in to the animal protection service place."

He reaches out, touches my cheek gently before he's shifting to sit up and he nods and kisses my cheek. "That sounds like a plan. You look like you could do with a lot of sleep though. How about I talk to Eoghan and we prepare you that tea that relaxes you so well? The room is still dark, I'm sure you'll be able to get at least an hour or two. I'll be as quiet as I can and I'll close the door to keep the cats out."

That sounds like an absolutely wonderful idea. I sigh and I close my eyes, leaning my cheek to his shoulder for a few moment. He's still sitting right next to me and I'm just comfortable being right where I am. I wouldn't change a thing to our lives right now, except those hens, that is.

Straightening slightly, I steal a kiss from his lips and I smile lightly, just barely. I rub my eyes. "If you don't mind asking Eoghan about the twins that'd be nice. I don't know how you managed to sleep through it all but I'm glad. I know you need all the sleep you can get for all the hard work you put into the garden up stairs."

"Quentin, you work as hard as I do in that garden."

"I only do what you tell me to do."

"Which is a lot of hard work. I'll prepare you that tea, put in a bit of honey since that's how you usually like it. You just settle down and I'll be back with you in about fifteen minutes. If you're asleep by then, you're asleep by then and I'll leave the tea with you and let you sleep." He kisses my cheek, then my lips and he slips from the bed.

I watch him move, mesmerized by how smoothly he does so. At times I think he could be a dancer. He's still a little sharp in angles in some places but he's filled in to a point where I don't worry daily about his health.

He disappears out of the bedroom and I settle down into the cool spot where I should have slept the night before. I'd settle in his own spot but he's a little heater at this point and I'd rather start my rest in a cool spot. I tug the sheets just so, settling them at my waist before I close my eyes and breathe. I know I need to sleep, I'm just not sure how well I'll manage.


End file.
